Naturally 7

These guys are pretty amazing. The name of the group is Naturally7 I forget how I came across them, but if you appreciate music, and the art of a cappella singing (or just R&B) "you gonna like it!"

This band does all their own instrumentation sounds, which until you see them, you probably wouldn't believe they aren't real instruments. Rockapella, eat your heart out!

This Review Left Me "Howling"

I stumbled across the link to this review in a comment from another blog.

I enjoyed it greatly, and hopefully you will too.

Now I feel like I MUST have this shirt!

B. Govern, you da man!

Da Da Da (have I used this before?)

I'm excited for tomorrow. By some point tomorrow I should officially be done with all my big summer projects! I am under the impression that I will then get my life back. I could be wrong, but I'm hoping I'm not. My work ethic is slowing with the vision of rest in sight, thus pushing back more and more my actual time of vacation.

Even with these projects ending, it doesn't mean I will have nothing going on. My work on the Montour Football Highlight Video has just started and I have some home video conversions lined up, as well as some other work. But what I really want to do now is cook, read, hang with friends, and relax on my porch. Unfortunately I am ending my work as many others are beginning their work/school. But I'll still find some fun to have!

So I was driving down Rt. 60 today and there was a guy walking. As I approached him, there it came... the thumb. It was second nature once I saw it. Come to a stop, hit the hazard lights, and wait for his approach. I wasn't nervous... well I guess there is that initial thought, but it literally lasted all but 5 seconds. The man was dressed a little sloppy, but seemed like a good enough guy. I figured he might be homeless or poor, but he wasn't. He was just drunk. 3PM and he was drunk, walking home from the bar.

I found out his name was Tony, he's been married and divorced twice, he has a daughter, he's retired, and he's about to have his license taken away for DUI. He dropped the F-bomb a few times, blaming it on him being either drunk or stupid each time. I honestly wouldn't have known he was drunk if he hadn't said anything. I think this is more of a slap in the face to the appearance and speech of the typical Pittsburgher than it is a praising of Tony's composure under drunkenness or a revealing of my lack of discernment of drunken behavior.

Regardless, I drove Tony home, and he seemed appreciative and somewhat apologetic. I kind of wished I had mentioned Jesus to him, although I'm pretty sure he would not have seen it as a feasible option for himself. It's such a sad state where a man of his age is in a poor place.

Speaking of which, my homeless friend Raymond was on the news. He called me today to let me know, so I looked it up. Raymond is talking about the stuff they're going to get him from him being on the news, like getting his old job back, getting money to go to school, and maybe some other stuff. I'm not quite so certain he's going to get all these handouts because he was on TV for 10 seconds, but we'll see. Regardless he seems pretty set on getting his life in order. He wants to get his own place, get a job, and go to school to be an x-ray tech. I hope he really takes the steps to attain those things; although once he does, I think he'll still be somewhat lost. There's only so much I can do.

I think I'm going to start taking ballroom dance lessons at CMU. I would like some people (or at least a lady) to start going with me. Let me know if anyone is interested. You really don't need a partner to go, it's just my personal preference. Anyway, it's only $3 and is usually Wednesday nights.

I wish I had some funny story to add to this blog, but I can't think of any at the moment. Hopefully I'll be on here more with my free time approaching!

Be good, stay in school.

Freak Out

I'm supposed to be preparing to leave for the Big Wow tomorrow... but I'm not. I'm stupid. Instead I'm being entertained by these incredible Greatest Freak Out Ever videos on Youtube. I'll ruin it for you and let you know they're fake... part of me is happy for the world that they are fake. But it's so insane... especially the first one. If you're into remixes, check out this remix!

In additional new, I witnessed a car accident today. I was cruising down a suburban road, just getting past the road construction, when the truck in front of my smashes into a parked car. It's not like he was swerving at all, he just drifted right into the side of the car as if it were invisible. The car was smashed pretty good, and the trucks front right tire completely came off; surprising I thought. The dude pulls right into a driveway after the accident, with his three wheels. The guy was kind of old, but not really old. Somewhat strange seeming. I don't know if he was drunk, losing his mind, or just distracted... maybe all of the above.

Anyway, I helped them roll the heavy detached tire and axle off the road and then helped clean the hard plastic fragments off the road. Once I told the police what happened I left. I wish that story was more exciting. Oh yeah, the guy was my dad. Ok, not really.

I was going to throw in a "shooting" joke to add excitement, but that seems horribly inappropriate due to the shooting tragedy from last night. Amazingly it was world news. And sadly one of my friends knows one of those who died in the shooting. It's such a sad situation.

Well this is mostly a boring post on my end, but we'll leave it at that, for I must go.

Movie Star

I've been working a ton lately, trying to get all my projects finished and duplicated for various clients. It was so bad that I typically would go to bed at 12 or 1AM and have to wake up at 4 to continue working for the next 18+ hours. I was really starting to lose it.

But last week I finished some of the more pressing videos, and after nearly 6 days of barely stepping foot outside of my room, I needed some interaction. I called up Kristin and told her I required somewhere social to unwind; out 'n about. I went and picked her up, and she got all made up, like we were going somewhere nice... meanwhile I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt, looking like poo from lack of sleep and negligence of hygiene. But we ventured off.

We stopped at Kristin's old Oakland pad, Ophelia St, to recruit other party people. We chatted it up with her old roommate Alyssa for a bit and then headed off to Hemmingway's with no additional members. I got some food, and then Kristin and I had a few drinks, not something I do very often. It was really a lot of fun, me and sis chillin' in da bar. I got a call while I was there from my friend Jess. She was being an extra for the movie Warrior, starring Nick Nolte. Extras had to be there at 3:30PM, and at this point it was almost 11PM. Yet, she told me they were most likely still looking for people. So I took Kristin home, stopped at my place to pick up three changes of clothes and some snackage to bring for the ride. The shoot was at the Twin Highway Drive-In, a nostalgic remembrance from my childhood.

When I arrived there was a crane there holding this large UFO looking light contraption, since it was dark they needed a ton of light. Pretty neat. I found my way to talk to the lady in charge of extras. She made me wait for wardrobe. So I waited, and waited, and waited... for over an hour. Then finally she tells me to go out to get my car for another scene, and this one guy would come find me. I sat in my car for what I think was an hour and a half or two, but it was hard to keep track because I was dozing. It's about 2:30AM by the time the parking lot scene (which I wasn't a part of) is over and I follow all those extras back into the main shooting area. Finally I become part of the shoot, and I find my friend Jess.

It really wasn't all that glamorous. I would walk through shots. I would watch the fight they showed on the screen and react with cheers or boo's, and of course the ever popular chant "MIS-TER-C, MIS-TER-C!" It's hard to be energetic at 5AM. But Jess and I met two girls there, who were pretty cool. We'd joke about things, and what was offered at the fake snack bar. I also saw the dad from Transformers eating at the food table; so star struck! (not really) Shooting ended at about 6AM, when the sun was coming up.

Now this is a paid gig. I think it pays a little over $7/hr, and overtime is around $10/hr. I was there for 6 hours, but the lady was nice and marked me as getting there at 2:30PM instead of 11:40PM. So I got 15 1/2 hours of paid extra work! NICE. Even though I had been working since 4:30 the previous morning, it was still a cool experience.

In other news, I am now the proud owner of a djembe. I decided I wanted to start playing it, since I know some others who do, and they look pretty awesome drumming. Found one on Craigslist for $140, about $80 off retail. It's in new condition, I think the tag was still on it. Plays awesome! And I just bought a harness for it, so I can walk around playing. It's really a lot of fun, I'll find myself jamming out to some tunes (especially Rusted Root) for hours easy. So just when you thought you had Steve firmly positioned on your felt board of awesomeness, you realize he must be cranked up several more levels, which then makes you realize, "I need a taller felt board."

On a more inward look of life, I need to make some changes. I need to prioritize what NEEDS to be a regular activities in my life, non-negotiable. I've lost Sabbath for months now. I need to break and relax in God. I need to be in his Word more frequently than life has 'allowed' me. I haven't been reading or studying. I enjoy life so much more when I can relax and strive for what I feel is the most important, God, knowledge, and relationships. Just another reason I shouldn't be blogging right now.

Pubelic Humiliation

I received a call from my darling little cousin Tierney a few weeks ago. She left a message saying, "Oh my God Steve! I can't believe... hold on your mom is calling me... click" What kind of message is that. What a little sharkface! So I called her back from her abandoned message and here's what the message was regarding... I'll include the backstory.

Alright, so a few weeks ago I informed the world at large of my move to shave "the gotee" out of my life. And I did. An item that incites as much emotional reaction as a grotesque gotee must not be eradicated from a peoples without some great action to accompany it. Thus I decided to inform my gotee's two most distinct rivals of their ultimate victory over the feared beard. So I did what any rational human being would do... I saved the hair I shaved off, separated it into two equal groups, and inserted into two envelopes. On one, I wrote "Mom," on the other I wrote "Tammy." I must inform those who do not know, I am my mother's only child, so she had an easy enough time knowing that the contents of the envelope (not containing a "From") were indeed from her beloved child, how proud she was. My aunt (Tammy), however, was not given the clue of "Aunt" preceding her name to allow her to know that the envelope was from me.

Upon opening the envelope and finding it full of short curly hairs, she freaked out. She had no clue who it was from... negligence on my part. My mom found her envelope first and told me I should put a "from" on it for my aunt, but my car was in the shop and I wasn't able to make it over there to correct my mistake. Annnnnyway, my aunt, in her panic, calls the cops. They show up and she wants them to get fingerprints. They exclaim "We can't get fingerprints off of hair." "THE ENVELOPE, GET THEM OFF THE ENVELOPE!" my aunt calmly responds.

She's wondering who would do such a thing. They have a maid also named Tammy who was there the previous day, and they wonder if it was hers. Who would commit such a hate crime? What sick-minded pervert could possibly have the audacity to disgust a decent American family with such a lewd act?

Her daughters are telling her that it must be a joke. But my aunt is still freaked until she finds out (dun, dun, dunnnnnn) it was me. Once she discovers the culprit, she thinks it's hysterical. She calls my other aunt, Trina, and they laugh until they almost pee. I had heavily considered splitting the hair into three parts, and including Trina, since she despised it too. I'm just glad Tammy wasn't mad. And days later when I visited, the envelope was sitting next to their kitchen sink, as if it was waiting to be used or further discussed when company was over. Weird... but so am I.

Perplexed

I am so totally confused how I am two different men.

I am he who does right, and he who does very wrong.

I am the one everyone considers very selfless and charitable, yet I seek my own good above all else.

I am the most caring, compassionate back-stabber you will ever meet.

In the same day I bring upon one undeserved turmoil and frustration and on others I bring intimacy, openness, relationship, and peace.

Do I walk in the one Will, or am I split between two paths simultaneously?

All I know is that I seem to matter most.

It's Been A While... And It'll Be A While

I haven't blogged in quite some time. I tried on a few occasions, but then would get distracted and such.

Life has been busy. I was working non-stop for a few weeks in June. Lots of editing both for my jobs and for Warhola, plus Campus Life. I also had some dance recitals to shoot... three performances in one day. I have built my new computer and it's working pretty well, just need to work out a few kinks.

My friend Raymond got kicked out of his subsidized housing. His married girlfriend complained about him locking her in his room or something. He said she shouldn't have said that and he was not guilty of doing such a thing, but just argued with her a bit. I talked to this woman on the phone and she agreed she thought she HAD to write him up, but wouldn't have if she knew it wasn't a requirement. Raymond will point fingers and blame people, but he is ultimately to blame.

I drove to his place and loaded up my car with whatever stuff of his would fit. I was upset that he hadn't packed before I got there, since he knew for a few days he was being evicted. A majority of Raymond's belongings are in my basement currently. I drove him around all day making calls and visiting locations to find him a new place. Raymond was falling asleep in the passenger seat; making me feel like he didn't really care that much. I've been more frustrated with Raymond since that time, and I also don't trust him as much. I asked the lady who works at his previous residence about what kind of guy he was. She said she legally couldn't tell me, but asked me why I was asking. I told her that I'm concerned because he's being kicked out and it makes me wonder if he's putting on a front to me. She said "It sounds like you've already made up your mind," as if to say that I was right in thinking that.

Raymond stayed a night at my place, after going to Brooks' house with me to watch the Stanley Cup Championship. He really loved the party there. The next day he checked himself into the hospital as having mental issues, just so he could have a roof over his head. He's still in the hospital, which makes me mad, since he doesn't have mental issues. He is expecting to be moved to the VA hospital soon, where they will find him long-term housing and a job. He says "Steve aren't you proud of me," because he's going to be getting a new place to live and a job. I'm not proud of him. He's using and abusing the system, when he is very capable himself. Maybe I'll be proud if he accomplishes some things on his own, stops dating married women, and stops feeling like he deserves the world from the government.

My other friend, Ray, who has actual mental/emotional problems is wearing me very thin. He has been calling me to complain about me more and more frequently. One complaint was that he doesn't want me being so nice to him all the time. He says I'm "buttering him up" and it's giving him a big head. And he wasn't admitting that as much as he was yelling at me about it (note: this was the first time he had ever mentioned it). He gets angry with me for spending time with other friends as much or more than I do with him. I spend 1-3 hours a week with Ray usually. Part of me loves Ray, and part of me is just making a decisions to show Ray love, regardless of my emotions. He has a rough life, where he knows he has issues, but can't control himself. He's so heavily medicated and in such an disgustingly unhealthy living situation. He can be great and fun, but I constantly am on guard as to not frustrate him or get yelled at. It's a sad situation; I can only hope to bring some good to it.

This past week I was in Wildwood, NJ for our summer conference, Heatwave. It was a great time with some really nice weather. Sunny, but not all that hot. I was busy as usual making videos, which I'll post on this blog. It's so much work for a little 6 minute video. I definitely felt like I missed out. I wanted to spend time with my students and other students from Metro-Pitt, but was constantly filming or editing. I love meeting kids and leaders from all the different groups. I love getting students excited, and I think "doing stuff for the video" adds a bit of excitement to their week. I get lots of appreciation for the videos I make; everyone seems to really enjoy and value them. I don't know if it's selfish, but part of me just wants to stop it all though (even though I know I would miss it).

I was so glad that two of my students attended and both had an awesome, awesome time! I'm really hoping this December we'll have a good showing for Fallout, our winter retreat. I'm looking for some volunteers to help with Campus Life on a weekly basis if anyone is interested; we meet on Monday nights.

Speaking of Campus Life meetings Monday nights, I had CL last night. We spoke about shaving things out of your life that it's time to leave behind; whether they are childish, inappropriate, or sinful. I centered it around my gotee. I started by brushing it and conditioning it, speaking on how we often take certain things in our lives and make them who we are, and we care for and pamper these aspects of who we think we are, whether we love them, hate them, or hate to love them. But we must shave them out of our lives, so of course... I shaved off my gotee. I'm sure there are shouts of glee and anguish both stemming from that proclamation. It's weird, but I think it was time. Now I need to decide if I'll grow back a normal gotee or just cling to my lonely soul-patch. Alas, I was saddened to realize I don't have another fist behind my beard like C. Norris.

I'm also part of a book discussion group this summer. We're reading Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis. We're meeting at South Hills Assembly, in the youth room. Mike Milano, my main man, is leading it, so you know it's good. It ranges from very philosophical/heady, to almost theologically preachy, to very down to earth. I'm greatly enjoying it, and I know anyone is welcome to join whenever. We're only about 40-50 pages into the book.

Well I guess that's enough for now. Stay posted, Steve is still reinventing himself, so you never know what may happen next!

A Festering Frenzy Within

I was inspired by an awesome CD to catch up on the happenings of Reese Roper.

Reese was the lead singer of the former band Five Iron Frenzy. Some of you reading this may be familiar with FIF and reminisce with a smile on your face of the joy they brought to your life; whether skanking with some friends, car-ride sing-alongs, awesome concerts, or just trying to recreate the blue comb incident, FIF was certainly a band that touched it's listeners by some reasoning that must be divine in nature. Others of you probably have no idea who Five Iron Fenzy was, and I'm sad to say that even if you download all their songs, the fullness of FIF is most likely lost to you. The closest you can get to understanding is to buy one of their live albums, and listening to it with a REAL Five Iron fan.

The band certainly had character all around, but Reese was the essence of the band, hands down. He's the one everyone keeps their eye on, now that FIF is RIP.

Reading this slightly dated article, it seems there is still hope for future musical stylings of Mr. Roper, despite the fact that he's in school now to be a male nurse. Reading some of the recent forum posts on the Brave Saint Saturn site (F.I.F.'s side project band, which isn't yet dead), has given me more respect and insight to what kind of guy Reese is. He deeply loves God and regrets much of what happened with FIF; however, he does not at all regret how they were somehow able to reach into kids' lives and show them Jesus. He is an artist that sings with such passion and doesn't hide what he believes, while maintaining something about him that makes everyone wish they were like Reese!

In that interview, he says he wishes things weren't done so cheaply, so he didn't have to regret not putting everything they had into the band, while it was. But I have no idea what he's talking about, they were first class... riiiight.

The former band members of Five Iron Frenzy make about $1.50, split between the eight of them, for every CD purchased. So get people buying their music to support good people and your nostalgia. Also, as kind of mentioned Brave Saint Saturn does have that newer CD out Anti-Meridian.

Plus at some point there will be a FIF DVD coming out, that has behind the scenes stuff and video shorts that seems fun.

Also, watch for a project Reese is working on with Josh Dies called The Theives Guild.

"What are you eating under there?"
"Under where?" (Underwear)
"HAHA"

I Love You

When I think or the words "I love you," one of the first things that come to mind is the scenario when a man tells a woman that he loves her, and she says nothing in return. I saw a comedian fairly recently who had come up with pre-thought-out responses in certain scenarios. He used this one as an example, where he immediately replies (after her lack of "I love you" response) that he is in a secret government organization and used the code phrase "I love you" to see if she was also in that organization. He then tells her that he will be leaving tomorrow on a mission and will never see her again. It's pretty funny if you watch it, but I can't find the clip.

Way too often we trivialize the words "I love you" to be just a nicity. We lose all meaning, all sincerity, all passion in those words, be it romantic or platonic. It becomes a catchphrase of sorts. And I am guilty of this. I am rarely the one to say "I love you" to someone I love... if anything I am the guy who responds "love you too," as I walk out the door or hang up the phone. I don't think I'm usually very convincing, and it's rarely very heart-felt.

It's not that I don't love him/her/them. Because I probably love very intensely. I tend to want to show my love in action/caring/correcting/prayer, rather than in direct verbal acknowledgement. But there is something powerful about those three words when they are said and meant.

There are friends of mine that I love deeply. They live on opposite sides of life. Some are in good places, some in bad. Some I go to for advice, some come to me. To some I see myself as a caretaker of, others mend my wounds often. And with nearly all of them, the words "I love you" are rarely spoken. So when they are, it has weight to it. When those words are said, it's a game changer. I suddenly now feel worthwhile. When I doubt how desired or important I am to someone in our relationship, those words motivate me to continue. They encourage me, knowing that I truly am loved, and am therefore lovable.

"I love you" reminds me that I significant to the one who spoke them, so I have some type of grip on their life. The words I say have meaning to them because they love me, and most-likely love me because they know I love them. It's a reminder that I shouldn't give-up in my attempts to help them through phases/seasons/trials, because I love them, and apparently they love me too.

It's a blessing to hear those words from someone whom I deeply respect. Someone whom I love for good reason, but don't necessarily expect to be loved back to the same extent. It's an honor to be loved by anyone, but for whatever reason, with some it carries greater weight. Perhaps it can be the busyness of life that paints the setting for some of the most important "I love you's." When someone who is busy, popular, talented, etc. clears away their life for at least a few moments to meaningfully say "I love you" and to take time to care for and appreciate who you are, it's building life.

Those around me know I love them (I think). But I want to say it. I want to initiate it. I want to feel it. Perhaps I should put a ban on feigned "I love you's" in my life. I guess it would make me seem rude, so I probably won't, but perhaps it would just inspire me to mean it more.

Consider those you truly love and who truly love you. Make a point to say I love you if you feel it. Don't hold back due to social awkwardness or fear of an ingenuine response. Let your love be known, because the other person probably really needs to hear it, and maybe you just really need to say it.

Love

⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

- Romans 12:9-10

And don't forget to tell God you love Him too.

Compu-Stein

No, Compu-Stein is not a Jewish robot. It is, rather, me alluding to the new computer I'm building.

This post will be boring to probably everyone who reads my blog, but get over yourself, this blog isn't about you, it's about me. I'm important, and a documentation of my life, in all areas, is very important for posterity.

I've started working with my friend Jess at Warhola Productions every now and then as freelance. There are perks though. Such as picking up equipment they no longer are going to use at good prices. So I'm going to buy very soon from them a Matrox RT.X2, to replace my old Matrox RT.X100.

The thing is... I still like my RT.X100, and it works fine. Plus my computer could barely handle an RT.X2; so we all know what that means... time to Upgrade, HOORAY!!!

It's a fun time, but also an expensive time. I must say though, I'm going all out for this machine, and it's going to rock hard.

Processor:
Intel Core i7 940 - bought it on Craigslist from a guy who won one at a convention. It's a shame they are soon discontinuing it. Still a good processor though.

Motherboard:
Asus Rampage II Extreme - This thing is a beast. Got one on E-bay well under retail cost.

Asus Rampage II Extreme Motherboard
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Graphics Card:
Sapphire Radeon HD 4850 X2 2GB - When I saw 4 DVI outputs and an analog out, I fell in love. Steve Love Options! It's basically 2 video cards in one. And then you can link up multiple HD 4850's; TECHNOLOGY!!!

Sapphire Radeon HD 4850 X2 PCIe Video Card
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Chassis:
Thermaltake Spedo Advance Package - I came across many really sweet cases, but I don't think I can pass this one up, even though it's a little past my budget. With some big-time components in there generating lots of heat, I think this is the case to keep it all cool. Plus the cable management is complete awesomeness.

Thermaltake SPEDO Full-Tower ATX Case
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RAM:
OCZ FLEX EX DD3 - Nothing too exciting, but 6Gig is cool. And I can easily upgrade it to 12Gig in the near future if I desire. Six RAM slots on the motherboard and bought 3 2GB sticks.

Hard Drive:
Seagate 1.5 TB SATA - Bought this from Frys.com at a very good price. There is a lot of talk from people about how the drive doesn't work properly, but new firmware updates have solved all known issues, as far as I can tell. This will be used for media/video files mostly. Perhaps when prices come down I will make a RAID of 1.5TB drives. I'm also planning on transporting my a WD Raptor 10,000RPM drive from my old computer as the system drive on this new one.

Power Supply:
This is the only component I have not yet purchased. I'm having trouble gauging how much power I need since my motherboard, processor, and video card can all be power hogs if I'm doing intense work with them. But more than likely I will not max out their wattage potential. I'm probably shooting for 1000-1200Watts.
Here is my most likely candidate...
Tuniq Ripper 1000Watt PSU - It's $80 off after rebates and has a very high rating, even though I've never heard of the brand before.

If you have any suggestions or parts to offer me for my new Compu-Stein, please offer them up. Possible names for this rig are also welcome (keep them clean).

Some of you may at times think I'm a cool, interesting guy... No? Well let's pretend. After reading posts like this current one, you realize none of that is true. I am pure dork and no girl will ever want me. But it's ok because I have a TI-83. Or maybe this. Or maybe I'm black. Yeah I'm definitely black! Too far?

I'm sexy as a black man though, right? No? Ok, fine.

I doubt many of you have found your way to the gems at the end of this nerdtastic blog entry, so to those of you who endured, yours are the spoils.

Updatage

It's been a fairly eventful last few days.

Yesterday, was Kelly's wedding day. She is no long Kelly Chappell, she is Kelly O'Leary. I really want to continue to call her Kellychappell, because I'm used to it and I like it. But Dave is a good guy, and if he doesn't want me calling her that, I'll have to make an effort to stop.

The wedding was great/beautiful/joyous. It was neat that David's father married them and as he spoke of the passages read and gave words of wisdom, it was a pastor speaking to the couple being married and those attending the wedding, but it was obvious that he was also very much speaking as a father to a son and his wife. I loved watching David and Kelly, holding each other's hands and wearing their emotions all over their faces. It was cute how they would at times swing each others arms slightly in excitement of the moment. Their smiles told the whole story.

The reception brought about even more fun. David and Kelly's (DK) first dance was awesome. Everyone thought it was choreographed, but as I spoke to Kelly later, she said it wasn't at all. They are a great pair. So much energy, so much character, so much love! I know that the extent of their love and joy was and is an inspiration to everyone in attendance. It's good to be reminded that love like that exists.

It was also great seeing so many of my old friends. The old youth group crew was representin'! Jonathan, Stacie, Seth, Jesse, Anthony, Jess Baker, Kristin, and myself; all at one table! We also had Jesse's wife Kelsey, Kristin's boyfriend Jordan, and my date Marissa. There were lots of laughs and reminiscing. But there is something a little strange. I think we encountered a wedding crasher...

Soon after finding our way to the table, which was filled with all youth group people, except for 2 seats, a middle aged woman (Debbie) sits down saying she is at our table. It was strange, but we were nice. She told us she was from PA, and was best friends with David's mother. I didn't know why they would stick her at our table. I actually chatted with her for a bit. She asked if we knew who Curry was because they were at our table too. We realized Jonathan and Stacie must be at our table, but there aren't enough seats. Then she left for a moment. About a minute later Jonathan and Stacie got there and sat in the two remaining seats, moving Debbie's things. We realized none of us had seen her table marker. She came back and stated she was at a different table. The rest of the night we kept a little eye on her, and she didn't seem to talk to anyone really. She was totally crashing that wedding! She just spies where there are empty seats and takes the spot. There is so much I have to learn from her.

So Marissa was my date. A great date she was too. She met a lot of my friends, most of which she didn't know at all. Early on, at the ceremony there were some issues, but after some cough medicine and a few safety pins, all was well. We had fun dancing, taking pictures, and breeding hamsters. Ok, so there were no hamsters (a man can dream). If you read this ever, thanks again for being my date to the wedding!

I tried to make myself have fun and hold back many of my typical reservations. I think I succeeded. I know I had fun, and was maybe even more awesome than usual; if that's possible. I really want to get some copies of the pictures from Marissa, because I think they will make me smile and chuckle and perhaps fart a little.

Now I feel like more of my friends need to get married so I can keep having fun nights like this. Maybe a marriage, followed by divorce, followed by subsequent remarriage (so I can wedding it up again!). Ok, let's make it happennn... annnnnnnnnnnd... Break!

Oh yeah... Kristin requested for Brooks (who DJed) to play My Humps via texting him on my phone. After he started playing it, David yelled at him. Kristin got Brooks in trouble. He was then stripped and beaten publically so everyone would know what "we" think of My Humps.


Today was/is Mother's Day. I'm not super close to my mom, but I'm making an effort to be a better son and let her into my life somewhat (although I remain cautious). I showed up at her house this morning to go to church with her. It was nice enough, got to see some friends (I had just been at the church the previous day for Kelly's wedding). It's good to see Pastor Morgan is still teaching almost exclusively on "Joy" without telling us why we should have it, just that we ought to be joyful. :::FRUSTRATION:::

After church my mom needed to go to the mall, so I went there with her. While she shopped I bought vitamins from Vitamin World. Then I walked around and sat around and played Tetris on my phone. Then I went home to eat and take a nap before going on a bike ride with my mom. We rode 14 miles, which is a good bit for a guy who is kind of out of shape. My mom is crazier with riding than you'd think. We finished the fourteen miles in a little over an hour of biking. I had to prove myself by keeping up. I think maybe I could outbike her... maybe. We stopped at Station Square to get a quick bite, since we were riding right by it. Then after biking, I came back home with her and cut the grass. Exciting yes. My mom really enjoyed the day though, so that's good.

Hopefully this wasn't too boring, but it's what the DA was originally designed for... telling of the excitement and drabness of my day to day.

Lotionin' Oilin', Oilin' Lotionin'

Yeah, this clip has almost nothing to do with this post, yet at the same time has everything to do with everything... It's a magic moment.

What I really wanted to say is that my uncle was on the news. Check it out.

Now you all can be beautiful and protect yourselves from the nasty sun. As for myself, I will be wearing this as protection.

Does His Power Come From God?

Pat Robertson's Leg Press | Viral | SPIKE.com

I'm not a big fan of Pat Robertson at all. But check this out!

I really don't know what to say about this old man with quads of steel.

So maybe he's cheating a little...

All I know is, this is certainly a humble man ;)

Sudden Push

I guess I've reached the point in my life where all signs and all fingers start leading you down the aisle.

It's funny how suddenly that push takes place, or at least has for me. A year ago, there was no indication that marriage should be within my scope. I wasn't, and still am not completely, sure that it's part of my lot in life. I lean toward believing I will find the right girl, fall in love, get married, have 2.3 kids (does .3 represent some weird conjoined twin thing, or an extra arm and liver?). But honestly I don't know. It certainly seems nice, but I'm so "out there" in my values, convictions, and desires that I'm not sure any girl will fit into my bizarre (by our current social structure) lifestyle and beliefs.

I've only been to the wedding of one friend in the last several years. My buddy Brooks got married, and I was a groomsman. I don't count Brooks though, because he's four or five years older than me. Things are changing though (and already have). My good friend Jesse just got married on Saturday. My good friend Kelly is getting married this coming Saturday. And surely within the next 1-2 years a few more of my "my age" friends will be married.

I can't comprehend. I mean, good for them, but at this time and position in my life, I cannot fathom saying "this is the woman I will spend the rest of my life with." As much as I'd like to be able to feel that and as much as I search for that, I just can't currently. I am still perplexed by the phenomenon that is marriage. I don't know how one cannot believe in a God, and believe solely in Darwinistic happenings as the cause of everything we do and are. The decision for two people to devote the rest of their lives to one another would be ridiculous if it weren't so beautiful. And when it happens, that's a picture that is truly miraculous. Day after day, year after year, love proving itself again and again. Amazing... but heavy!



What a decision. They say you "just know" when you meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. You better know, because that's a big lifestyle change. Especially with the promise of children, which my mom has been getting on me about lately. Just today I got a text saying how her friend was going to be a grandmother. This past summer I accompanied my mom to this very friend's son's wedding.

Marriage is one thing, procreating is another. I've always been more capable of seeing myself as a husband than a father. Maybe both are difficult to envision because of divorce rate in my family. Yet, I crave the companionship of a wife, but also fear the distraction that could come with it. As for children, I just can't often picture myself as a father. But there are moments...

There are moments when an image before me transports me through time to what I could be. I place myself in the shoes of the one I'm watching, and I can picture myself as a husband or a father. I can feel the love that I'll have, and the fulfillment of it. After the moment fades, I'm still a little skeptical and even fearful, but also hopeful, and usually wearing a smile.

I don't know why I worry so much. I am responsible, caring, and capable. There are those who are excellent husbands and fathers, who have needed to grow into the role greatly, and been successful in it. But I always want to do everything well... exceedingly well. And the undertaking of a family would be big.

Am I ready. I think not. I am under-disciplined, underpaid, and under-established; overly distracted, overly critical, and overly self-indulged. But if/when it happens I will ready myself. After all, I am a fierce, brave, daring man. I am not a nice guy. I am a warrior! A warrior that one day may walk down an aisle in a tuxedo... but not yet.

So How Many Do You Want?

I got back today from the One Heart retreat I went to for YFC. It was interesting. I might blog on that another time soon, but there is a more pressing story that must be told. It occured about six hours ago, and I first told my tale for a group of fine young ladies, one of which looked like she was about to pop some Marta tokens out of her belly button, she was laughing so hard.

I was at home earlier, preparing for some clients to come over to preview a video. I heard the doorbell ring and noticed they were about 20 minutes early. As I open the door, it's not them. It's some dude who has the appearance of a man who has been working on a car for the past few hours. He explains to me in a rehersed manner that he is selling a cleaner. He asks me if I have any kids. No. Any pets? No. He tells me I am a smart man. He asks what the hardest thing for me to clean is. I don't know. This whole situation reminds me of Deb in Napoleon Dynamite trying to sell glamour shots and beaded bracelets.

He pulls out his squirt bottle. "Here, watch this clean your wall." He squirts the dirty paneling on my house and rubs it with a towel. It smudges and rubs off some of the loose dirt. "See, it removes oil and grime." "Here check this out." He pulls out a Sharpie and another towel. The towel has a mark of Sharpie already on it (which tells me already that this demonstration will also leave a lot to be desired). He draws on the towel. Squirt, squirt. And he rubs it. The thin black sharpie mark, magically becomes a blob of a grey mark on the towel. "See how that works, it's like a Shout strip, but Shout won't take out Sharpie." "Is that your car?" He asks, as he points to my roommate's car. I almost want to say yes and see if he's going to draw on the car with his Sharpie. I say no.

He asks me again what the hardest thing to clean in my house is. I still don't have an answer, but he goes ahead and informs me that I can clean grease build ups or glass or pretty much anything with this product held before me. In fact with just a few cap fulls diluted in water, I can clean all my carpeting with a steam cleaner.

He gets back to the car thing again, "which car is yours?" I point to it. We walk over and he asks what the dirtiest thing is about the car, I respond sarcastically, "the car", enjoying making fun of him, but still losing my patience. He asks if there are any stains. I inform there are, but they are rather old. He seems very up for the challenge, scoffing at these old stains. My passenger side seat, stain found, squirt squirt. He pulls out his towel, covered in grime from a day of testing. He searches the towel for a clean spot and finds a tiny corner, which he wipes on the spot maybe twice (this guy doesn't put a lot of effort into his presentation in any way). "See, look at this." He shows me a brown on his rag from my chair. I don't know if it was the stain actually, I think it was just proof of how dirty my car is.

He's not done, he starts rooting through my car in search of stains. He is lifting up my floor mats, where he suspects there could be a nice hidden stain. He finds one the size of half a pea. Squirt squirt. Rubbing with the towel. Can he tell I'm not impressed yet?

He stands up outside my car and talks some more. Noticing my roof he says, "You have oxidation on your roof here. If I could take that off, how many bottles would you want to buy?"

I tell him I'm probably not interested. We find our way back to my porch. He asks me again how many bottle I'd be interested in buying (all still with the inflection of a Napoleon Dynamite character). At that moment my neighbor pulls up and is a little confused by who this man is. I quickly introduce her and tell her his purpose. I find my way back into the house to let her deal with this guy.

It's fun to meet new people!

The End

Sometimes you need to get to the end of yourself before you can let go of the staleness and hold on to the fresh.

I sensed a hope yesterday morning on my way to church. I felt like I was fed up with myself and believed I would really meet God for the first time in longer than I would like to believe. I've been distant from God in a relational way lately. I follow him and love him, but like a friend can be distant or less transparent at times, I was that with God.

The first song struck me, and spoke to where I was.

What have I in this life
But the love in Your eyes
This empty world will one day fade
Only Your truth will remain

Jesus, all I have is You
You're the hope I'm holding to
I might weep but still my faith
Rests in You
As the heavens hold the skies
It's your hand that holds my life
And your love will lead me on
When all else is gone

I felt like I had nothing. I felt like no matter how much I try it's not enough to satisfy people, satisfy the world. And I did weep, but found a fullness in letting it go. What is the hope I'm holding onto? Is it these things, or is it Jesus. I'm so glad to see my weakness and my inability, because then I can own it. And only when I realize my weakness can I realize His strength.

Later another song played which was also very penetrating.

Is there any forgiveness for the things I've done
Is there a pardon for sinners, I know I'm one
Before you
Before you

Would you take this heart of foulness, make it clean again
Would you pour on me your mercy, as I confess my sin
Before you
Before you

Point my feet in the way they should go
Place your holy spirit on me
Lead me in the ways everlasting
I long to have a heart that's pure
I need to have a heart that's pure
Before you
Before you

Oh Lord forgive me
I need your mercy
Oh Lord forgive me
I need your mercy

The words "before you" wrapped themselves around my thoughts. I saw the throne and I saw myself, and felt like I had screwed up so much. "Is there any forgiveness for the things I've done? Is there a pardon for sinners, I know that I'm one." I sincerely knew I was one right then. Sometimes I say I'm a sinner, but I don't believe it.

I can't remember the last time a tear dripped from my eye, but as I knelt there between my chairs with my head on the ground I could feel the tears dripping from my eyelashes to my hands. Surrender. I felt cleansed. I felt loved and forgiven. The word "Mercy" captured my soul. I knelt and wept in awe of Mercy.

It was a great Sunday to be in church. I saw video of a missions trip to China where they were illegally having church gatherings and giving out CD's of testimonies. It's so much more real when your friends are in the video, when the person sitting a few rows in front of you was there. It's not some distant thing. This person was in this video of the Chinese police catching up with these Christians after searching for them for 2 days. It was their passports and resources the police took away from these violators.

It was also great to hear accounts of miracles. The kind that Americans forget about because we never see them. People being healed of sickness and broken bones by prayer. Stories of dreams that lead Christians to villages, and dreams that have the people knowing that they were coming that very day. Statistics that show Christianity is growing by about 10,000 people a day in China, and that by 2050 about half the world will be Christian. And yet sadly, they also say that by 2050 in the Western world 4 in 5 "white" people will not believe in the Bible.

I feel ready for Easter. I want to celebrate this truth, and anyone reading this who is not living their faith as they should, reconsider. I have eye-witness accounts of things that you would think are fairy tales.

A great follow-up to church was our volunteering day with Light of Life ministries. My Campus Life group and a bunch of students from the musical went to the North Side to throw an Easter party for the kids there. It was great to get to know some of their little personalities. We did a skit, an Easter egg hunt, egg dying, a song, and just played with kids. One little baby got slobbery chocolate chip cookie on my pants, but he was really cute, so I let it slide.

There's something special about being around those less-fortunate kids. It brings joy to my heart, and it's awesome to see their smiles and random dances. They just want to play and be loved.

If everyone loved like Jesus, what kind of world would this be?

I Wish

There are so many times when an intense lack of satisfaction detonates in my soul and ripples through my emotions.

I find myself in a depressed state of "I wish" because I certainly am not good enough how I am.

I do my best to hide such things, as an ultimate toast to Christian hypocrisy... "I'm perfectly happy and whole in every way."

I wish I were more daring.
I wish I were more attractive.
I wish I were more poetic.
I wish I were more relaxed.
I wish I was the guy people called up to be with.
I wish I had that "someone."
I wish I were taller.
I wish I fit in.
I wish I could see myself as an adult.
I wish I believed I could be the person everyone wants me to be... if I even wanted to.

I wish I displayed more confidence (ironic, huh?).

So often I feel lost, worthless, or forgotten and then I chalk it up to one or more "I wish I were's." Surely these are the reasons I am feeling low, lost, without, depressed.

I am an encouragement junky. It's amazing I've become so addicted to it without tasting much. Maybe it's the wrong metaphor. Perhaps I'm just a soul laden with the disease of low self-esteem, craving a medicine from the viral bombardment of society and the apparent "reality".

What I really wish is that I could have the best attributes of everyone perfected and condensed into my very core. It's selfish and unrealistic. And it's not at all the answer.

The answer is contentment. The answer is a dose of Reality; of Truth. The answer is knowing who God made me. The answer is finding those who will value me as God made me.

Unfortunately I often feel as though this number is few.

I've lately avoided posts expressing my downers in this fashion, but maybe the new Steve is going to be open about things that I've kept more secret lately, or at least presented in a less raw way.

Floridia

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Florida Pythons on the Loose
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

I'm in Tampa International Airport right now typing this blog, charging my laptop, and waiting for my plane. I am quite the little mutli-tasker, huh?

We stayed the week at my uncle's vacation house here in Florida, which is much grander by my standards than he considers it to be. The place has two bedrooms, a nice living room, screened in porch, unscreened porch, big kitchen, tall ceilings, a few HD TV's, two bathrooms, and so on and so on. Not huge, but big, and very nice.










We forgot our camera, so all the pictures we have was either taken with my laptop camera (the two above) or taken with my mom's cell phone.

When we arrived in Florida, my uncle and grandfather picked us up. They had come down about a week earlier with my other uncle and cousin, who had just left that morning. So for the next few days it would be me, mom, Uncle Jerry, and Scooge (my grandfather).

We had a good time. I felt like a jerk because I didn't talk much. I'm not very vocal when my mom is around... she's vocal enough for everyone. But it was nice have Scooge there. We kind of jab at him a lot because he's old and slow and whatnot. But it's all in fun, and he opens himself up to the teasing. Plus he's just a good guy.

My uncle took us around some of the surrounding areas the next few days and showed us where everything was, since we would be here a few days after he and my grandfather went back home. We went to Siesta Key (one of the top beaches in America), a pre-season Pirate game, and some local restaurants.

The first day or two I was not liking the sun. We were constanly in the sun... eating outside, driving with the top down, at the beach, or at a ball game... sun sun sun! I love the sun, but my light complected body needs a little time for adjustment, moving from 50 degree drizzle to 80 degree sunshine. I'm adjusted now, but there were a few moments of near misery in there. But the weather was beautiful. Sunny and about 80 every day, except one where it drizzled a bit with clouds, then cleared up by late afternoon.

I especially liked driving around in my uncles Mercedes convertible this weekend. There's just something fun about cruising down the highway with the wind in your hair and the sun on your shoulders. It made me feel very cool... and it made me really want a convertible!

I'm used to a life of conservitive, low-cost living. This was not that. All the stuff we were partaking of was not cheap, at least for the most part. My mom has been working a lot lately (the past few years especially) so she likes to flaunt her money from time to time... maybe not flaunt, but live it up or not feel like she needs to hold back. At least on vacation and sometimes in the day to day. I really don't like this. I've always worried about our (her) money situation, since I was a child.

I also wonder about if it's right to buy extravaganet or at least somewhat costly things, that are not necessary. People in Africa and Haiti are dying of malnutrition, and we're dishing out money for expensive tours or expensive meals. It kind of took away from the trip a bit. I'd actually prefer to spend less and just enjoy myself with the best things in life (which are free). Maybe it is ok to pamper yourself sometimes, I know I do... I just have trouble justifying it in my mind sometimes, be it toward myself or others.

I also was conflicted with where the money for much of this was coming from; my uncle. Not so much him, cause he's a good, generous guy. But he makes his living from cosmetic surgery. Not the kind where your kid was in an accident and their face no longer exists... more the kind where that 50 year old wants new boobs, that dude is tired of being bald, she wants to pretend she's 30 again, and he wants to lose 50 lbs without doing any work. Vanity. I think it's a major problem in America. There's a statistic where breast augmentation is one of the top graduation gifts being given to girls graduating high school. If I don't believe in this obsession and I don't believe in those who endorse it, how can I reap its financial rewards with a clear conscience?

Here's where some people think I'm crazy, but am I? It's a matter of morals and principles. And also logic. I'm somewhat perpetuating this, maybe only mildly and in an indirect way, but I am.

I don't mean to put a damper on the trip. It was great for the most part, and God was gracious with the weather. I would like to come back to Florida sometime soon with the friends. My mom was fine, but often our meals consisted of her texting and a lot of silence. There's only so much we have to say to each other... but we got along alright.

I really want to come back... and I want a convertible. So let me know when you have one for me! Not really... I'll just eat my fruits and vegetables and drive my '93 Suburu Impreza.



Maybe this post was a better fit for my other blog.

Steve Love... Steve Hate

Does anybody else ever get to points in their lives where they realize it's time to take inventory. You just aren't quite who you want to be or your life isn't quite what you thought it would be. Then you ask yourself, "what needs to stay and what needs to go?"

I'm having one of those now I think, which is typical every year or two. So I'm going to work at reinventing myself in some ways. I'm not totally sure what that even means, but it seems right. I feel a little like George Costanza when he realizes doing everything opposite of his normal inclinations gives drastic, and great, results.

I definitely want to start putting myself out there more. Meeting new people, doing new things. Do the things I'm often too timid or scared to do or say. Parts of my life are definitely progressing very well and I'm pleased with what God has placed before me, but there are other areas that need some change.

Change and reinvention sometimes require not progress, but regression. Such as, the ever popular Steve love, Steve hate lists. I was hanging out with Kristin last night, and these came up at some point, and I was glad to reminisce.

So without further adieu, a sampling:

• Steve love vegetables
• Steve love puppies
• Steve love the gym
• Steve love cute girls
• Steve love Redbox
• Steve love "spring forward"
• Steve love his semi-new Mac laptop
• Steve love small business
• Steve love Rojo-Tron

• Steve hate paying for car inspections
• Steve hate bleu cheese
• Steve hate that he is watching American Idol this season
• Steve hate wrinkled clothes
• Steve hate when Redboxes don't work
• Steve hate doing dishes
• Steve hate stimulus package
• Steve hate Twitter

Although Steve hate Twitter, Steve think that the "Steve hate/love" idea would be a much better rendition of Twitter.

Last night, as I was at Kristin's, which has been a more regular event lately, and we decided to play The Office board game. I went to my car to get it, and found the Legos from Campus Life a few days earlier. I was excited and brought in a container of legos. As I played with my childhood building blocks, nobody joined me :( But Kristin told me I should build Rojo-Tron.

Rojo-Tron started about a week earlier when a group of peeps were playing Settlers of Catan at Kristin's (it's a popular place). I have this habit of taking my unused pieces from the game, and creating characters or faces or whatever out of them. This particular night I was the red player, so all my pieces were red. I formed a robot looking figure out of my unused road, settlement, and city blocks. In my witty fashion, I named with robot "Rojo-Tron," a play on Robotron, substituting the Spanish word for red, "rojo." You think I'm dumb, but it was fun then.

So I spent the evening creating a mostly red rendition of Rojo-Tron out of legos. It was fun. He now lives at Kristin's house, so maybe she'll take a picture and send it to me so I can upload it to my blog. The best part of Rojo-Tron is that he carries a briefcase and aspires to be a ballerina.

Another eventful moment from last night was an incredible "That's what she said!" I feel that I cannot repeat it because it is kind of bad, but was innocent in its original context... until Kristin said, "That's what she said." And we were grossed out and filled with laughter.

So on that note, I want to let all my readers know, if you aren't being an active part of my life right now, you should be. I'm pretty freakin' awesome and I create sweet inside jokes, like "Special Bill." I bet most of you have no idea what I'm talking about. Yeah that's right, you wish you knew!

Yeah, I farted, jealous?

Ok, I'm just being weird now.

Forgive me. Farewell.

Valentines Day

A poem for those without a Valentine,
Who have no one to wine and dine
Rejected by the one for whom they pine
The road they walk is a fine line

Between the choices they made and a lonely place
Wondering who could love their ugly face
Crying like they were sprayed with mace
Hoping Cupid would show some grace

Plotting mean and demented schemes
All pulled from recent teen movie themes
Using whatever tactics the situation deems
Trying to steal or trick the One of your dreams

You want to believe in the underdog tale
But you are no celebrity, all broken out and pale
You know that in real life you're destined to fail
So best count all your chips, cash out, and bail

Try again with someone your own speed
Take a look in the mirror and take heed
Sometimes needing a hottie is a thing of greed
So ask out an uggo and do a good deed

Squint your eyes and maybe you won't mind
Cause they're also wishing they were blind
But dare to glance and you will find
You have just been Valentined

Happy Valentines Day to all those witout a date!
Everyone else... life has given you enough, you don't need any well-wishes from me.

2009 Predictions

:::I started this post on January 2nd, but just remembered it and finished it up.  Less guesswork now that we're over a month into the year, but oh well:::

The coming year is bound to bring a lot of new things in my world and the surrounding worlds of my friends and family.  So therefore I am going to list some predictions for the coming year.  I guess we'll see how I do.

1.  New Engagements:

• Marriage was such a popular topic last time, I figured I'd start with engagments this round.  Ok, first I'm going to put Jeana, since that seems like a gimme, if it isn't already official.  Kristin is also up there because she seems to expect it, and Kristin tends to get what she wants.  I'm also throwing Lacey in as a pretty sure thing, seeing as how she has her timeline all mapped out, and I believe an engagement is set for this year.  Seth is tricky, but I'm still pulling for him, so Seth is also added in the 2009 engagement list.  For my sake I hope it's not that soon, but Jamie is probably getting close to an engagement as well.  But who knows, he tends to drag his feet on some stuff.

2.  Apple Losing Some Steam

• Everyone knows I am an Apple fan and that they've been doing a great job.  But it seems they've made a few strange decisions lately.  They also lost the great Steve recently as well (but only for a little while, so they say).  Without Steve, Apple hasn't done great in the past.  So although I do believe they will continue to increase in market share, I also believe they will lose a bit of their wow factor and completeness in meeting the desires of the public.

3.  Obama

• Obama is President now, so "change" is bound to happen.  I think Obama will get most of everything he wants this year.  Huge division will come between Democrats who are further wooed by Barack, and the Republicans who will become more rigid about opposing him, under the command of Rush Limbaugh, and other such blunt conservatives.  Taxes will go up, babies will die, golden parachutes will deploy, and gay marriage will be on its way to legalization during this year.  I sound like a huge Obama hater, which I'm not, I just disagree with a lot of his stuff... and I don't think we can quite put a finger on his moral character yet... but it is shifting a tad.

4.  The Office

• Jim and Pam will get married.  Dwight and Angela will kind of get back together.  Michael will go off and on with Holly.  Ryan will have to make his way back into the show somehow, maybe as a pizza delivery boy or a manager at a competing paper company.  Toby will become interested in Holly and battle Michael for her (not really for any of that).  But Toby will receive the key to the city.  Phyllis will miraculously conceive a child to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.  Angela will find some sinful activity to replace her deceitful relationships.  And Kevin will get Scrantonicity back together to play for Jim and Pam's wedding.

5.  Me

• I will start reading/learning more.  I'll continue to get more video gigs and develop my little production company.  My cell phone service will switch to Verizon.  I will get a new car.  I'll go on a few dates, and break a few hearts.  I will develop back problems from my continued sleep on a futon.  I will be pretty consistent at the gym, seeing as how it is becoming 24hours!  So I will therefore be in good shape finally, and flocks of women will swoon over me.  I will find a new home church that I feel like I belong at.  I think I might finally start being adventurous when I feel bored and alone, and go meet new people/cause havoc.  Regardless, of any of this, I want this to be a good year where I grow as a person and help others grow too.

iWreck

So, since my failed attempt at buying an iPod, I am now successful. I am an iPod owner!

I got one of the new 6th generation iPod Classics (120gig). I picked it up from some kid in an old Camaro. He wreaked of cigarettes, and so did the ipod, amazingly enough. But it was a good price, and he dropped another 15 bucks off the price because he forgot the charging cable, which I bought online for $1.25. It's nice of me to help fund his probable drug addiction.

The iPod was loaded with all kinds of crazy music (90 Gig worth!). I used an application called Floola to copy some of his good music off the thing before I wiped it clean and started from scratch. He also thought he deleted his pictures from the iPod, but they were still on there in a directory. Seemed like a nice guy with a nice family. No nudie pics in there or anything like that... umm, yeah.

So anyway, I've got an iPod full of sweet jamz, and my awesome Steve-made videos. I'm not like Mr. iPod; I'm not being a punk kid who has earbuds in his ears constantly. It's just a nice every now and then thing for now.

After buying it, I started thinking that I shouldn't have because my finances are lower than I thought they were. But oh, well...

Then on Thursday IT happened! I was on my way to the city, merging onto rt. 279 from Greentree. There was a van in front of me, and I was looking back to make sure I could merge onto the highway. I thought I saw the van merge on in my peripheral vision, so I accelerated. Bam! I hit him. My first accident.

I kept thinking in my head, "Oh crap, this is not what I need right now." It wasn't a hard hit; I was going maybe 10 mph when I collided into his bumper. So I step out of the car with my insurance information. I meet him there and say hi, as I hold out my insurance. He doesn't say a word. Looks at the bumper, which is slightly pushed up from the hit. Opens the back van door, which clears the bumper. I ask "do you want this?" referring to my information. He responds, as if not necessarily even talking to me, "Why the sh*t should I care? Not my van."

What a horrible attitude to have about your employer's van; but I was never more happy to hear an utterance such as that. What a break! Thanks be to God, who by his divine will, has hardened the heart of this individual for the benefit of His chosen elect! Ha, life is funny.

I also went over my friend Kristin's house. I'm especially mentioning this because Kristin is one of my few regular readers. We exchanged Christmas gifts over a month late. She got me a daily calendar from a comic strip, which I currently forget the name of, but do find enjoyable. I also got two books, one that is supposed to make me a less tense person and the other is about a guy who lived by Old Testament law for a year. It was a pretty sweet mix. I got Kristin travel Scrabble. Kristin, Marissa (Kristin's roommate), and I played Scrabble. I'm not much of a braggard, so I won't tell you how I kicked their butts hardcore.

The evening was full of fun joking, a Snuggie (I wonder if Marissa go the free booklight with it), and American Idol, which I'm mildly into this season. Kristin's roommate Meg was eating hummus, blueberries, and other Steve-approved food, which made me feel very at home. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I really like Kristin's roommates. So I'll probably start hanging out with them when Kristin isn't around, seeing as how I don't much care for her... just kidding. But yeah, Steve love the ladies. Maybe someday "the ladies" will love Steve back.

The Going On's Of Steve's Life

I think my life is starting to pick up, in that it's becoming a bit more interesting, and in some ways a bit more meaningful. I'll just list some stuff going on in the past week or two.

Last week I picked up my friend Raymond, who has been without a job for a while, and whom I met asking for money on the street several months ago. We were going to put in a few applications online for a couple jobs he was interested in. It ended up we didn't because he didn't have a resume with him, but even so, it was great to see him getting serious about finding a job. He's getting tired of being without. The cold weather is probably making him realize how low things are for him, when he's asking for money in five degree weather. I also visited his room last week and felt kind of bad for his living conditions. But he's getting more determined to make things work.

It was funny though... I took him to Kings to get some food. I think the lady there thought he was retarded or something because he was asking to get a waffle instead of pancakes and wasn't conveying it well, so I spoke for him. And I just got the sneaking suspicion that she believed I was someone "watching" him or something to that extent. It reminded me of the episode of The Office where the new H.R. lady, Holly, thinks Kevin is retarded.

But overall I'm feeling much better about our relationship. I feel less like Raymond is using me and more like we're friends. Even the other day I noticed something different. Usually Raymond ends our calls by saying, "Ok, get on." It's like his trademark sign-off or something. But the other day he ended it with "love ya bro." I didn't even catch it until after I hung up. But it's encouraging to see things progress and close bonds form. And lately he has expressed how appreciative he is of how I help him.

I also had a not so great run-in recently. I've been looking to buy an iPod lately. But since I don't have much money, and I am always looking for a deal anyway, I have been searching Craigslist. There have been a few nice deals that I missed, but I saw a post for someone selling a 32Gig iPod Touch for $235, which is almost half off the $400+ price for the same thing on Apple's website. Since it had just been posted 45 minute prior, I felt I had a good chance of getting it. I texted and e-mailed the guy. We planned to meet at his work, where I could buy it, since I had to leave for a retreat at 5:30.

I got to the Oxford Center, where he works as a chef, and waited for his wife to drop off the iPods (he had two). I opened the box and pulled out the player. It seemed a little small... but it did say iPod on the back. Something was wrong. While waiting, prior to the "iPod's" arrival, I hung out at the Mac Outfitters in the same building; so we headed over there for me to compare. It was fake, but a nice try at a counterfeit. It had a camera, which the touch doesn't have. I didn't have the proprietary iPod input on the bottom. And it was a bit smaller than the real deal.

The whole time this guy was pretending like it was news to him, that this fake iPod, coming out of a real iPod box was not legit. So I left, saying pretty much nothing. When I got home I wrote him an e-mail telling him what he was doing was wrong. I told him that he cheated me out of time and gas because of a lie. He responded with two e-mails full of vulgarity. It was a bummer thing. I wonder if he has tricked anyone with his little scam.

There are two morals of the story. #1. Don't try to trick Steve when it comes to electronics... I'm onto you! #2. Let Steve know if you know anyone selling an iPod for cheap.


I was at a retreat this past weekend. It was the YFC Student Leaders retreat for Pittsburgh. It's a neat time because the kids are pretty much all serious about their walk with God. It's a low-key weekend where we can all just bond without too much work to do.

I was a little bummed that none of my kids came, even though one was supposed to be there; but oh well. I've gotten to know students from other clubs quite well from trips like this one, so I still felt like I had a place. I also was the leader of our small group discussion time. Even though my boss Chris, the Executive Director of our chapter, was in the group, he still let me lead it. I really do enjoy leading discussion groups... especially ones like this where we're all being honest. It's a time where I'm a leader in a way, but I'm also just a member. We aren't hiding ourselves, we're real about the struggles and sins in our lives, and there's something freeing about that. There are also words of wisdom, words of truth, and words of love. But I think most of all it really helps to feel like you're in a family where you're not alone in your sin and hardships.

It's been neat as I dive a little deeper into theology. I find myself filling in the gaps of discussions, where the truth is missing. Those places where emotion fluff over what the Bible says. And when you bring up a Biblical point (even if you're not referencing the Bible with it) it opens things up to an "oh yeah" sensation. And I feel students are starting to know me as a guy who asks hard questions and jumps up on a soapbox from time to time (I did both in our group). Both are good things, I believe, and I hope that things I say resonate with them. I desire to plant seeds or truth and love in the hearts and minds of both the students and the leaders. I hope I can be challenging and an example of love to those around me, and I desire for those around me to repay the favor by challenging and loving me.

With all my words and thoughts, I did feel reminded by the students of Jesus. The supernatural truth that he IS and that he WORKS. I get into the mindset where I believe Jesus gave us the answers the help us in our problems, and I forget that Jesus is the answer. That calling on him and asking of him the right things will result in him granting to us that which the Spirit has spoken to our hearts.

On a similar note, I've been reading some of the writings of the early church fathers. I think Mike is leading me on a path to reading all of them in a row. So far I've read St. Clement of Rome and St. Mathetes. Very interesting and inspiring letters. I hope to keep getting perspective so that I can answer hard questions.

Beyond that, there is a very interesting story from the past weekend, but I believe I will post that on Pragmatically Charged in the near future. So look out for it! Maybe even in a few minutes.