I find myself in a depressed state of "I wish" because I certainly am not good enough how I am.
I do my best to hide such things, as an ultimate toast to Christian hypocrisy... "I'm perfectly happy and whole in every way."
I wish I were more daring.
I wish I were more attractive.
I wish I were more poetic.
I wish I were more relaxed.
I wish I was the guy people called up to be with.
I wish I had that "someone."
I wish I were taller.
I wish I fit in.
I wish I could see myself as an adult.
I wish I believed I could be the person everyone wants me to be... if I even wanted to.
I wish I displayed more confidence (ironic, huh?).
So often I feel lost, worthless, or forgotten and then I chalk it up to one or more "I wish I were's." Surely these are the reasons I am feeling low, lost, without, depressed.
I am an encouragement junky. It's amazing I've become so addicted to it without tasting much. Maybe it's the wrong metaphor. Perhaps I'm just a soul laden with the disease of low self-esteem, craving a medicine from the viral bombardment of society and the apparent "reality".
What I really wish is that I could have the best attributes of everyone perfected and condensed into my very core. It's selfish and unrealistic. And it's not at all the answer.
The answer is contentment. The answer is a dose of Reality; of Truth. The answer is knowing who God made me. The answer is finding those who will value me as God made me.
Unfortunately I often feel as though this number is few.
I've lately avoided posts expressing my downers in this fashion, but maybe the new Steve is going to be open about things that I've kept more secret lately, or at least presented in a less raw way.
So often I feel lost, worthless, or forgotten and then I chalk it up to one or more "I wish I were's." Surely these are the reasons I am feeling low, lost, without, depressed.
I am an encouragement junky. It's amazing I've become so addicted to it without tasting much. Maybe it's the wrong metaphor. Perhaps I'm just a soul laden with the disease of low self-esteem, craving a medicine from the viral bombardment of society and the apparent "reality".
What I really wish is that I could have the best attributes of everyone perfected and condensed into my very core. It's selfish and unrealistic. And it's not at all the answer.
The answer is contentment. The answer is a dose of Reality; of Truth. The answer is knowing who God made me. The answer is finding those who will value me as God made me.
Unfortunately I often feel as though this number is few.
I've lately avoided posts expressing my downers in this fashion, but maybe the new Steve is going to be open about things that I've kept more secret lately, or at least presented in a less raw way.
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