Valentines Day

A poem for those without a Valentine,
Who have no one to wine and dine
Rejected by the one for whom they pine
The road they walk is a fine line

Between the choices they made and a lonely place
Wondering who could love their ugly face
Crying like they were sprayed with mace
Hoping Cupid would show some grace

Plotting mean and demented schemes
All pulled from recent teen movie themes
Using whatever tactics the situation deems
Trying to steal or trick the One of your dreams

You want to believe in the underdog tale
But you are no celebrity, all broken out and pale
You know that in real life you're destined to fail
So best count all your chips, cash out, and bail

Try again with someone your own speed
Take a look in the mirror and take heed
Sometimes needing a hottie is a thing of greed
So ask out an uggo and do a good deed

Squint your eyes and maybe you won't mind
Cause they're also wishing they were blind
But dare to glance and you will find
You have just been Valentined

Happy Valentines Day to all those witout a date!
Everyone else... life has given you enough, you don't need any well-wishes from me.

2008 Can Eat Donuts!

Prepare to jump around more than Kris Kross (I forgot how young they were).

The holidays were pretty good.  Definitely better than last year.  Every year I connect a little more with one or two members of my family that I hardly ever talk to.  So maybe by the time I'm 50 I can know my own family decently.  We had probably 90 people or so at our Christmas Eve gathering.  My two cousins Dean and Joey did the 12 Days of Christmas again.  It's a sight to behold.  I was told someone filmed it and was placing it on YouTube, but no such luck.  Maybe they'd flag it for exposed middle-aged buttocks.  Yeah, that's right.  If I were placing a link on here, I would not have given you such a warning.

We took more Christmas Day pictures with the manger scene and such.  I'm not posting them here, but they're on Facebook, so you can check them out if you have the proper permissions and whatsnots.  Ha ha... snots.  I did get a present that is the one to brag about.  It's a calendar called "Monthly Doos."  Yeah, it's a calendar featuring a different dog doo at a different scene each month.  It's pretty rockin' and I guess I can start using it come tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow.  Tomorrow is January 1st, 2009.  And I think we all knows what that means.  Just about 3 years left until the end of the world.  Well technically it's almost 4 years away.  But just make sure you achieve everything you ever wanted to do, or give me anything you ever wanted to give me (a magic set, a sexy kiss, a thimble, a million dollars, a spaceship, humus), just in case the world ends by an alien race of Mayan Indians destroying the world after drawing elaborate crop circles in each and every corn field on Earth and abducting all of our Tom Hanks movies to watch on their way back to Uranus.  I love the Your-anus joke!  Seriously, when was the last time you heard that?  Do clean people with attractive butts hear that joke more often because it's not that offensive.  They know their butt is nothing to be ashamed of.  Where nobody wants to think of gross, lumpy butts, that are covered with filth and left over pieces, so do ugly butts hardly ever hear that hallmark knee-slapper?  We should do a study.

New Year's Eve is always a weird night for me.  I never feel like I have a real place to go.  I almost always seem to find somewhere to go with people I know, but it'll be last minute, like, "oh yeah, do you want to come?"  And wherever I end up, it's always with one or two people I know pretty well, a couple I know alright, and half I've hardly or never met.  New Year's Eve makes me feel like I really don't have a solid friend base.  My friends are spread wide and thin, where most of them aren't friends with each other, as they are with me.  It's just strange.  Is this a normal feeling/situation?  So tonight I'll probably end up with my family and their friends.

Last night was Battle of the Bands.  I was pretty much in charge of the event, which ended up bringing in almost 400 people (over 400 with the bands and staff I'm sure).  It was our biggest event yet.  Kind of stressful at the beginning, but once it got going, and staff people actually showed up, it almost ran itself.  I hope I did an OK job running it.  I don't think anyone would really notice anything wrong with it, but I know a few things I wanted to do that just didn't happen.  But it was a success, and I'll probably spend tomorrow creating an in-depth spread sheet analyzing tallies and ticket stubs in relationship to money brought in and tickets sold.

I think I need something or someone to spice up my life a bit and make it more exciting, or at least different.  Any thoughts?  I was thinking John Stamos.  I look at him and think, there is a guy who can make a life exciting just by being close to it.  He probably has awesome stories about Bob Saget.  And maybe when I die he'll come to my funeral.

But yeah, lately I've been feeling like it would be nice to have some sort of wingman, you know, the buddy that is always around or some type of female friend that I could constantly ridicule and tease and throw donuts at.  Yeah.  Then, life would be good.  Why is it SO hard to find a girl you can throw donuts at?  It could eventually become like a Chucky Cheese game, where if she got good enough, I would throw donuts at her and she would just unhinge her jaw and swallow them whole.  At some point she would get sick of me throwing donuts at her face and want to make it a positive.  This decision would be win-win.  She gets to eat donuts, and I get an entertaining game of skill to compete at... oh yeah, and she gets morbidly obese.  Thus is life.

Alright Kristin, you're the only one who reads my blog, so I expect some comments.

Let's Cheer For Christmas Cheer

The last several Christmasses... Christmas's... Christmasi... San Diegans have felt off. It was like I didn't even sense Christmas coming (despite the radio stations playing Christmas music mid November), and then before I knew it, everything was over. Then I was left longing for something that didn't even seem to happen. In fact probably my favorite part of the holiday last year was taking some ridiculous pictures in the front lawn (displayed below).

I think they really captured what Christmas is really about now... Blasphemy! Jesus and the American flag... Lacey as the Virgin Mary, me replacing Jesus... flirting with the Mother Mary, and Jesus with a giant TV remote.

This Christmas feels better. I have some Christmas cheer that is appropriate to what the holiday is really about. I'm actually glad Christmas music is on the radio, and I have even been playing some on my computer (Sufjan Stevens currently). I am experiencing a certain amount of joy about it all. Perhaps my family is becoming a little closer than it has been in years past and that has something to do with it. But I think I just have a more balanced attitude this season. I'm encouraged for those who are standing up for what is right this season, and I feel like I am in some way a part of that.

Maybe I feel a little bit of the generous spirit of the holidays warming my heart because I've been actively trying to live generously in my life (holiday or not). Over the last several months I have engaged with individuals who have needs, and I've sacrificed to help meet those needs. Christmas often feels like a time of obligatory giving, and that's the problem... I feel obligated to give so that I can convince myself I am not selfish or something. But I'm content with the lifestyle I am moving towards. I don't feel bad about giving less to people who don't need, when I know I am using those resources to give to those who have very little; whether in my own community or in impoverished countries.

I'm not saying all of this to toot my own horn. If you feel I am being self-absorbed and self-congratulatory, we can sit down and chat, and I will lay out the reasons why I am a bad person. I am instead offering something I am learning and I am experiencing. I am sincerely enjoying the holidays, which I haven't this much in a long time.

I'm coming out of a time of feeling isolated in myself, not relying on God, and actively ignoring the spiritual, educational, and relational things I knew I should be doing. I was frustrated with myself. It's the ultimate insult to your creator when he blesses you with abilities, calls you to utilize them, and although you know you should... you just don't want to, and run away instead. It's the kind of situation that makes you fish food.

But things are better now, and I need to make up for my recent laziness. I want to be an example. I don't want to compromise, but I still want to be loving. My wish this holiday is to be a blessing and to allow others to bless me. There are times I am so welled up with love for people I wouldn't really expect to feel that way about. As per a previous post, I think I need to make an effort to let my love out, rather than stifling it, and allowing it to mellow.

Holidays aren't an allowance to act a certain way once a year... they're a reminder to act a certain way all year. Your friends and family love you and you love them. The important thing in life is that Jesus came and died for us, what else can bring us down? Peace is here, why fret the rest of the year? Salvation has come in certainty, live in that instead of the ambiguity of life! Remember all you have. Don't compare what you have to what everyone else has, live in the generosity Jesus endorses.

The Lord has come and is, celebrate!