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I'm in Tampa International Airport right now typing this blog, charging my laptop, and waiting for my plane. I am quite the little mutli-tasker, huh?

We stayed the week at my uncle's vacation house here in Florida, which is much grander by my standards than he considers it to be. The place has two bedrooms, a nice living room, screened in porch, unscreened porch, big kitchen, tall ceilings, a few HD TV's, two bathrooms, and so on and so on. Not huge, but big, and very nice.










We forgot our camera, so all the pictures we have was either taken with my laptop camera (the two above) or taken with my mom's cell phone.

When we arrived in Florida, my uncle and grandfather picked us up. They had come down about a week earlier with my other uncle and cousin, who had just left that morning. So for the next few days it would be me, mom, Uncle Jerry, and Scooge (my grandfather).

We had a good time. I felt like a jerk because I didn't talk much. I'm not very vocal when my mom is around... she's vocal enough for everyone. But it was nice have Scooge there. We kind of jab at him a lot because he's old and slow and whatnot. But it's all in fun, and he opens himself up to the teasing. Plus he's just a good guy.

My uncle took us around some of the surrounding areas the next few days and showed us where everything was, since we would be here a few days after he and my grandfather went back home. We went to Siesta Key (one of the top beaches in America), a pre-season Pirate game, and some local restaurants.

The first day or two I was not liking the sun. We were constanly in the sun... eating outside, driving with the top down, at the beach, or at a ball game... sun sun sun! I love the sun, but my light complected body needs a little time for adjustment, moving from 50 degree drizzle to 80 degree sunshine. I'm adjusted now, but there were a few moments of near misery in there. But the weather was beautiful. Sunny and about 80 every day, except one where it drizzled a bit with clouds, then cleared up by late afternoon.

I especially liked driving around in my uncles Mercedes convertible this weekend. There's just something fun about cruising down the highway with the wind in your hair and the sun on your shoulders. It made me feel very cool... and it made me really want a convertible!

I'm used to a life of conservitive, low-cost living. This was not that. All the stuff we were partaking of was not cheap, at least for the most part. My mom has been working a lot lately (the past few years especially) so she likes to flaunt her money from time to time... maybe not flaunt, but live it up or not feel like she needs to hold back. At least on vacation and sometimes in the day to day. I really don't like this. I've always worried about our (her) money situation, since I was a child.

I also wonder about if it's right to buy extravaganet or at least somewhat costly things, that are not necessary. People in Africa and Haiti are dying of malnutrition, and we're dishing out money for expensive tours or expensive meals. It kind of took away from the trip a bit. I'd actually prefer to spend less and just enjoy myself with the best things in life (which are free). Maybe it is ok to pamper yourself sometimes, I know I do... I just have trouble justifying it in my mind sometimes, be it toward myself or others.

I also was conflicted with where the money for much of this was coming from; my uncle. Not so much him, cause he's a good, generous guy. But he makes his living from cosmetic surgery. Not the kind where your kid was in an accident and their face no longer exists... more the kind where that 50 year old wants new boobs, that dude is tired of being bald, she wants to pretend she's 30 again, and he wants to lose 50 lbs without doing any work. Vanity. I think it's a major problem in America. There's a statistic where breast augmentation is one of the top graduation gifts being given to girls graduating high school. If I don't believe in this obsession and I don't believe in those who endorse it, how can I reap its financial rewards with a clear conscience?

Here's where some people think I'm crazy, but am I? It's a matter of morals and principles. And also logic. I'm somewhat perpetuating this, maybe only mildly and in an indirect way, but I am.

I don't mean to put a damper on the trip. It was great for the most part, and God was gracious with the weather. I would like to come back to Florida sometime soon with the friends. My mom was fine, but often our meals consisted of her texting and a lot of silence. There's only so much we have to say to each other... but we got along alright.

I really want to come back... and I want a convertible. So let me know when you have one for me! Not really... I'll just eat my fruits and vegetables and drive my '93 Suburu Impreza.



Maybe this post was a better fit for my other blog.

Steve Love... Steve Hate

Does anybody else ever get to points in their lives where they realize it's time to take inventory. You just aren't quite who you want to be or your life isn't quite what you thought it would be. Then you ask yourself, "what needs to stay and what needs to go?"

I'm having one of those now I think, which is typical every year or two. So I'm going to work at reinventing myself in some ways. I'm not totally sure what that even means, but it seems right. I feel a little like George Costanza when he realizes doing everything opposite of his normal inclinations gives drastic, and great, results.

I definitely want to start putting myself out there more. Meeting new people, doing new things. Do the things I'm often too timid or scared to do or say. Parts of my life are definitely progressing very well and I'm pleased with what God has placed before me, but there are other areas that need some change.

Change and reinvention sometimes require not progress, but regression. Such as, the ever popular Steve love, Steve hate lists. I was hanging out with Kristin last night, and these came up at some point, and I was glad to reminisce.

So without further adieu, a sampling:

• Steve love vegetables
• Steve love puppies
• Steve love the gym
• Steve love cute girls
• Steve love Redbox
• Steve love "spring forward"
• Steve love his semi-new Mac laptop
• Steve love small business
• Steve love Rojo-Tron

• Steve hate paying for car inspections
• Steve hate bleu cheese
• Steve hate that he is watching American Idol this season
• Steve hate wrinkled clothes
• Steve hate when Redboxes don't work
• Steve hate doing dishes
• Steve hate stimulus package
• Steve hate Twitter

Although Steve hate Twitter, Steve think that the "Steve hate/love" idea would be a much better rendition of Twitter.

Last night, as I was at Kristin's, which has been a more regular event lately, and we decided to play The Office board game. I went to my car to get it, and found the Legos from Campus Life a few days earlier. I was excited and brought in a container of legos. As I played with my childhood building blocks, nobody joined me :( But Kristin told me I should build Rojo-Tron.

Rojo-Tron started about a week earlier when a group of peeps were playing Settlers of Catan at Kristin's (it's a popular place). I have this habit of taking my unused pieces from the game, and creating characters or faces or whatever out of them. This particular night I was the red player, so all my pieces were red. I formed a robot looking figure out of my unused road, settlement, and city blocks. In my witty fashion, I named with robot "Rojo-Tron," a play on Robotron, substituting the Spanish word for red, "rojo." You think I'm dumb, but it was fun then.

So I spent the evening creating a mostly red rendition of Rojo-Tron out of legos. It was fun. He now lives at Kristin's house, so maybe she'll take a picture and send it to me so I can upload it to my blog. The best part of Rojo-Tron is that he carries a briefcase and aspires to be a ballerina.

Another eventful moment from last night was an incredible "That's what she said!" I feel that I cannot repeat it because it is kind of bad, but was innocent in its original context... until Kristin said, "That's what she said." And we were grossed out and filled with laughter.

So on that note, I want to let all my readers know, if you aren't being an active part of my life right now, you should be. I'm pretty freakin' awesome and I create sweet inside jokes, like "Special Bill." I bet most of you have no idea what I'm talking about. Yeah that's right, you wish you knew!

Yeah, I farted, jealous?

Ok, I'm just being weird now.

Forgive me. Farewell.

Valentines Day

A poem for those without a Valentine,
Who have no one to wine and dine
Rejected by the one for whom they pine
The road they walk is a fine line

Between the choices they made and a lonely place
Wondering who could love their ugly face
Crying like they were sprayed with mace
Hoping Cupid would show some grace

Plotting mean and demented schemes
All pulled from recent teen movie themes
Using whatever tactics the situation deems
Trying to steal or trick the One of your dreams

You want to believe in the underdog tale
But you are no celebrity, all broken out and pale
You know that in real life you're destined to fail
So best count all your chips, cash out, and bail

Try again with someone your own speed
Take a look in the mirror and take heed
Sometimes needing a hottie is a thing of greed
So ask out an uggo and do a good deed

Squint your eyes and maybe you won't mind
Cause they're also wishing they were blind
But dare to glance and you will find
You have just been Valentined

Happy Valentines Day to all those witout a date!
Everyone else... life has given you enough, you don't need any well-wishes from me.

2009 Predictions

:::I started this post on January 2nd, but just remembered it and finished it up.  Less guesswork now that we're over a month into the year, but oh well:::

The coming year is bound to bring a lot of new things in my world and the surrounding worlds of my friends and family.  So therefore I am going to list some predictions for the coming year.  I guess we'll see how I do.

1.  New Engagements:

• Marriage was such a popular topic last time, I figured I'd start with engagments this round.  Ok, first I'm going to put Jeana, since that seems like a gimme, if it isn't already official.  Kristin is also up there because she seems to expect it, and Kristin tends to get what she wants.  I'm also throwing Lacey in as a pretty sure thing, seeing as how she has her timeline all mapped out, and I believe an engagement is set for this year.  Seth is tricky, but I'm still pulling for him, so Seth is also added in the 2009 engagement list.  For my sake I hope it's not that soon, but Jamie is probably getting close to an engagement as well.  But who knows, he tends to drag his feet on some stuff.

2.  Apple Losing Some Steam

• Everyone knows I am an Apple fan and that they've been doing a great job.  But it seems they've made a few strange decisions lately.  They also lost the great Steve recently as well (but only for a little while, so they say).  Without Steve, Apple hasn't done great in the past.  So although I do believe they will continue to increase in market share, I also believe they will lose a bit of their wow factor and completeness in meeting the desires of the public.

3.  Obama

• Obama is President now, so "change" is bound to happen.  I think Obama will get most of everything he wants this year.  Huge division will come between Democrats who are further wooed by Barack, and the Republicans who will become more rigid about opposing him, under the command of Rush Limbaugh, and other such blunt conservatives.  Taxes will go up, babies will die, golden parachutes will deploy, and gay marriage will be on its way to legalization during this year.  I sound like a huge Obama hater, which I'm not, I just disagree with a lot of his stuff... and I don't think we can quite put a finger on his moral character yet... but it is shifting a tad.

4.  The Office

• Jim and Pam will get married.  Dwight and Angela will kind of get back together.  Michael will go off and on with Holly.  Ryan will have to make his way back into the show somehow, maybe as a pizza delivery boy or a manager at a competing paper company.  Toby will become interested in Holly and battle Michael for her (not really for any of that).  But Toby will receive the key to the city.  Phyllis will miraculously conceive a child to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.  Angela will find some sinful activity to replace her deceitful relationships.  And Kevin will get Scrantonicity back together to play for Jim and Pam's wedding.

5.  Me

• I will start reading/learning more.  I'll continue to get more video gigs and develop my little production company.  My cell phone service will switch to Verizon.  I will get a new car.  I'll go on a few dates, and break a few hearts.  I will develop back problems from my continued sleep on a futon.  I will be pretty consistent at the gym, seeing as how it is becoming 24hours!  So I will therefore be in good shape finally, and flocks of women will swoon over me.  I will find a new home church that I feel like I belong at.  I think I might finally start being adventurous when I feel bored and alone, and go meet new people/cause havoc.  Regardless, of any of this, I want this to be a good year where I grow as a person and help others grow too.

iWreck

So, since my failed attempt at buying an iPod, I am now successful. I am an iPod owner!

I got one of the new 6th generation iPod Classics (120gig). I picked it up from some kid in an old Camaro. He wreaked of cigarettes, and so did the ipod, amazingly enough. But it was a good price, and he dropped another 15 bucks off the price because he forgot the charging cable, which I bought online for $1.25. It's nice of me to help fund his probable drug addiction.

The iPod was loaded with all kinds of crazy music (90 Gig worth!). I used an application called Floola to copy some of his good music off the thing before I wiped it clean and started from scratch. He also thought he deleted his pictures from the iPod, but they were still on there in a directory. Seemed like a nice guy with a nice family. No nudie pics in there or anything like that... umm, yeah.

So anyway, I've got an iPod full of sweet jamz, and my awesome Steve-made videos. I'm not like Mr. iPod; I'm not being a punk kid who has earbuds in his ears constantly. It's just a nice every now and then thing for now.

After buying it, I started thinking that I shouldn't have because my finances are lower than I thought they were. But oh, well...

Then on Thursday IT happened! I was on my way to the city, merging onto rt. 279 from Greentree. There was a van in front of me, and I was looking back to make sure I could merge onto the highway. I thought I saw the van merge on in my peripheral vision, so I accelerated. Bam! I hit him. My first accident.

I kept thinking in my head, "Oh crap, this is not what I need right now." It wasn't a hard hit; I was going maybe 10 mph when I collided into his bumper. So I step out of the car with my insurance information. I meet him there and say hi, as I hold out my insurance. He doesn't say a word. Looks at the bumper, which is slightly pushed up from the hit. Opens the back van door, which clears the bumper. I ask "do you want this?" referring to my information. He responds, as if not necessarily even talking to me, "Why the sh*t should I care? Not my van."

What a horrible attitude to have about your employer's van; but I was never more happy to hear an utterance such as that. What a break! Thanks be to God, who by his divine will, has hardened the heart of this individual for the benefit of His chosen elect! Ha, life is funny.

I also went over my friend Kristin's house. I'm especially mentioning this because Kristin is one of my few regular readers. We exchanged Christmas gifts over a month late. She got me a daily calendar from a comic strip, which I currently forget the name of, but do find enjoyable. I also got two books, one that is supposed to make me a less tense person and the other is about a guy who lived by Old Testament law for a year. It was a pretty sweet mix. I got Kristin travel Scrabble. Kristin, Marissa (Kristin's roommate), and I played Scrabble. I'm not much of a braggard, so I won't tell you how I kicked their butts hardcore.

The evening was full of fun joking, a Snuggie (I wonder if Marissa go the free booklight with it), and American Idol, which I'm mildly into this season. Kristin's roommate Meg was eating hummus, blueberries, and other Steve-approved food, which made me feel very at home. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I really like Kristin's roommates. So I'll probably start hanging out with them when Kristin isn't around, seeing as how I don't much care for her... just kidding. But yeah, Steve love the ladies. Maybe someday "the ladies" will love Steve back.

The Going On's Of Steve's Life

I think my life is starting to pick up, in that it's becoming a bit more interesting, and in some ways a bit more meaningful. I'll just list some stuff going on in the past week or two.

Last week I picked up my friend Raymond, who has been without a job for a while, and whom I met asking for money on the street several months ago. We were going to put in a few applications online for a couple jobs he was interested in. It ended up we didn't because he didn't have a resume with him, but even so, it was great to see him getting serious about finding a job. He's getting tired of being without. The cold weather is probably making him realize how low things are for him, when he's asking for money in five degree weather. I also visited his room last week and felt kind of bad for his living conditions. But he's getting more determined to make things work.

It was funny though... I took him to Kings to get some food. I think the lady there thought he was retarded or something because he was asking to get a waffle instead of pancakes and wasn't conveying it well, so I spoke for him. And I just got the sneaking suspicion that she believed I was someone "watching" him or something to that extent. It reminded me of the episode of The Office where the new H.R. lady, Holly, thinks Kevin is retarded.

But overall I'm feeling much better about our relationship. I feel less like Raymond is using me and more like we're friends. Even the other day I noticed something different. Usually Raymond ends our calls by saying, "Ok, get on." It's like his trademark sign-off or something. But the other day he ended it with "love ya bro." I didn't even catch it until after I hung up. But it's encouraging to see things progress and close bonds form. And lately he has expressed how appreciative he is of how I help him.

I also had a not so great run-in recently. I've been looking to buy an iPod lately. But since I don't have much money, and I am always looking for a deal anyway, I have been searching Craigslist. There have been a few nice deals that I missed, but I saw a post for someone selling a 32Gig iPod Touch for $235, which is almost half off the $400+ price for the same thing on Apple's website. Since it had just been posted 45 minute prior, I felt I had a good chance of getting it. I texted and e-mailed the guy. We planned to meet at his work, where I could buy it, since I had to leave for a retreat at 5:30.

I got to the Oxford Center, where he works as a chef, and waited for his wife to drop off the iPods (he had two). I opened the box and pulled out the player. It seemed a little small... but it did say iPod on the back. Something was wrong. While waiting, prior to the "iPod's" arrival, I hung out at the Mac Outfitters in the same building; so we headed over there for me to compare. It was fake, but a nice try at a counterfeit. It had a camera, which the touch doesn't have. I didn't have the proprietary iPod input on the bottom. And it was a bit smaller than the real deal.

The whole time this guy was pretending like it was news to him, that this fake iPod, coming out of a real iPod box was not legit. So I left, saying pretty much nothing. When I got home I wrote him an e-mail telling him what he was doing was wrong. I told him that he cheated me out of time and gas because of a lie. He responded with two e-mails full of vulgarity. It was a bummer thing. I wonder if he has tricked anyone with his little scam.

There are two morals of the story. #1. Don't try to trick Steve when it comes to electronics... I'm onto you! #2. Let Steve know if you know anyone selling an iPod for cheap.


I was at a retreat this past weekend. It was the YFC Student Leaders retreat for Pittsburgh. It's a neat time because the kids are pretty much all serious about their walk with God. It's a low-key weekend where we can all just bond without too much work to do.

I was a little bummed that none of my kids came, even though one was supposed to be there; but oh well. I've gotten to know students from other clubs quite well from trips like this one, so I still felt like I had a place. I also was the leader of our small group discussion time. Even though my boss Chris, the Executive Director of our chapter, was in the group, he still let me lead it. I really do enjoy leading discussion groups... especially ones like this where we're all being honest. It's a time where I'm a leader in a way, but I'm also just a member. We aren't hiding ourselves, we're real about the struggles and sins in our lives, and there's something freeing about that. There are also words of wisdom, words of truth, and words of love. But I think most of all it really helps to feel like you're in a family where you're not alone in your sin and hardships.

It's been neat as I dive a little deeper into theology. I find myself filling in the gaps of discussions, where the truth is missing. Those places where emotion fluff over what the Bible says. And when you bring up a Biblical point (even if you're not referencing the Bible with it) it opens things up to an "oh yeah" sensation. And I feel students are starting to know me as a guy who asks hard questions and jumps up on a soapbox from time to time (I did both in our group). Both are good things, I believe, and I hope that things I say resonate with them. I desire to plant seeds or truth and love in the hearts and minds of both the students and the leaders. I hope I can be challenging and an example of love to those around me, and I desire for those around me to repay the favor by challenging and loving me.

With all my words and thoughts, I did feel reminded by the students of Jesus. The supernatural truth that he IS and that he WORKS. I get into the mindset where I believe Jesus gave us the answers the help us in our problems, and I forget that Jesus is the answer. That calling on him and asking of him the right things will result in him granting to us that which the Spirit has spoken to our hearts.

On a similar note, I've been reading some of the writings of the early church fathers. I think Mike is leading me on a path to reading all of them in a row. So far I've read St. Clement of Rome and St. Mathetes. Very interesting and inspiring letters. I hope to keep getting perspective so that I can answer hard questions.

Beyond that, there is a very interesting story from the past weekend, but I believe I will post that on Pragmatically Charged in the near future. So look out for it! Maybe even in a few minutes.

Binge & Purge

Nutritionists will tell you not to take on the habitual binge/purge rhythm to your eating.  But you just can't resist the allure of chocolate.  One potato chip leads to one bag of potato chips.  And your daily burger just becomes part of your routine... even though you KNOW your shouldn't.  

So we call 1-800-09-JENNY.  And we go on slimfast.  And we join the gym.  And we go on some crazy diet where you can only eat meat and cheese or do something crazy with an enima.  And we do these things... for a week or two (or until we can no longer either sit on or stop sitting on a toilet).  We cut down our portions or take a magic pill until we've lost 5-10-4,000 lbs (depending on your situation).  Once we feel normal, healthy, and confident again we open ourselves up to the temptation.  And thus we become Oprah or Luther Vandross.  Lose, gain, lose, gain, lose gain... die.

Modern day science, and the rampant spread of disease and death makes it clear that binge/purge is not the way we should live.  But my point is not really about weight or diet.

I'm coming off of a few day purge (or binge, depending on how you look at it).  Sitting in my high-back swivel chair, going through hours and hours of football footage to make a montage video.  Over the last few days I have spent probably close to 50 hours working on this video.  Edit, sleep for 5 hours, wake up, edit, shoot some supplemental video, edit, eat a cracker and a bag of m&m's, edit, sleep.  It's not healthy to be working 18 hours a day, even if it is for just a few days or a week.

The point is that I have bad living habits that are comparable to bad eating habits.  I binge on life and relaxation to a point where it isn't good for me.  And then I have to purge and work super hard to catch up, which also isn't good for me.  If I could buckle down and find some structure in my life I could be in a much better place.  Like eating, I wouldn't feel forced to purge hardcore if I hadn't been bingeing so much!

I've gotten some good, stern advice, that I should schedule everything in my day.  Oh my.  For me that seems like a lot, seeing as how I schedule very little except for work events or meetings (and that's only because of iCal).  But I'm going to start trying to schedule most of my day; despite the fact that I'm sure the unforeseen variables will blow holes in it on a regular basis.

My binge might be other people's purge.  Some people are so structured and such work-aholics that to be away from the office any day of the week feels like a purge to them.  Obviously this isn't ideal either, and can be harmful to a person's life, identity, health, etc.

Maybe this is a good thing for all of us to reflect on occasionally, or regularly.  Am I being a good steward of my time?  Is my life balanced, does it reflect harmony?  Does the way I live my life leave room for all my priorities (God, others, myself, work... hopefully in an order close to that)?

A balanced life is such an enticing goal.  That's why I can't understand the reasons I fight it so.

I am the most interesting of creatures, in that I defy logic at every opportunity.  But at least I dwell upon my absurdities... and then blog about them.