A Festering Frenzy Within

I was inspired by an awesome CD to catch up on the happenings of Reese Roper.

Reese was the lead singer of the former band Five Iron Frenzy. Some of you reading this may be familiar with FIF and reminisce with a smile on your face of the joy they brought to your life; whether skanking with some friends, car-ride sing-alongs, awesome concerts, or just trying to recreate the blue comb incident, FIF was certainly a band that touched it's listeners by some reasoning that must be divine in nature. Others of you probably have no idea who Five Iron Fenzy was, and I'm sad to say that even if you download all their songs, the fullness of FIF is most likely lost to you. The closest you can get to understanding is to buy one of their live albums, and listening to it with a REAL Five Iron fan.

The band certainly had character all around, but Reese was the essence of the band, hands down. He's the one everyone keeps their eye on, now that FIF is RIP.

Reading this slightly dated article, it seems there is still hope for future musical stylings of Mr. Roper, despite the fact that he's in school now to be a male nurse. Reading some of the recent forum posts on the Brave Saint Saturn site (F.I.F.'s side project band, which isn't yet dead), has given me more respect and insight to what kind of guy Reese is. He deeply loves God and regrets much of what happened with FIF; however, he does not at all regret how they were somehow able to reach into kids' lives and show them Jesus. He is an artist that sings with such passion and doesn't hide what he believes, while maintaining something about him that makes everyone wish they were like Reese!

In that interview, he says he wishes things weren't done so cheaply, so he didn't have to regret not putting everything they had into the band, while it was. But I have no idea what he's talking about, they were first class... riiiight.

The former band members of Five Iron Frenzy make about $1.50, split between the eight of them, for every CD purchased. So get people buying their music to support good people and your nostalgia. Also, as kind of mentioned Brave Saint Saturn does have that newer CD out Anti-Meridian.

Plus at some point there will be a FIF DVD coming out, that has behind the scenes stuff and video shorts that seems fun.

Also, watch for a project Reese is working on with Josh Dies called The Theives Guild.

"What are you eating under there?"
"Under where?" (Underwear)
"HAHA"

I Love You

When I think or the words "I love you," one of the first things that come to mind is the scenario when a man tells a woman that he loves her, and she says nothing in return. I saw a comedian fairly recently who had come up with pre-thought-out responses in certain scenarios. He used this one as an example, where he immediately replies (after her lack of "I love you" response) that he is in a secret government organization and used the code phrase "I love you" to see if she was also in that organization. He then tells her that he will be leaving tomorrow on a mission and will never see her again. It's pretty funny if you watch it, but I can't find the clip.

Way too often we trivialize the words "I love you" to be just a nicity. We lose all meaning, all sincerity, all passion in those words, be it romantic or platonic. It becomes a catchphrase of sorts. And I am guilty of this. I am rarely the one to say "I love you" to someone I love... if anything I am the guy who responds "love you too," as I walk out the door or hang up the phone. I don't think I'm usually very convincing, and it's rarely very heart-felt.

It's not that I don't love him/her/them. Because I probably love very intensely. I tend to want to show my love in action/caring/correcting/prayer, rather than in direct verbal acknowledgement. But there is something powerful about those three words when they are said and meant.

There are friends of mine that I love deeply. They live on opposite sides of life. Some are in good places, some in bad. Some I go to for advice, some come to me. To some I see myself as a caretaker of, others mend my wounds often. And with nearly all of them, the words "I love you" are rarely spoken. So when they are, it has weight to it. When those words are said, it's a game changer. I suddenly now feel worthwhile. When I doubt how desired or important I am to someone in our relationship, those words motivate me to continue. They encourage me, knowing that I truly am loved, and am therefore lovable.

"I love you" reminds me that I significant to the one who spoke them, so I have some type of grip on their life. The words I say have meaning to them because they love me, and most-likely love me because they know I love them. It's a reminder that I shouldn't give-up in my attempts to help them through phases/seasons/trials, because I love them, and apparently they love me too.

It's a blessing to hear those words from someone whom I deeply respect. Someone whom I love for good reason, but don't necessarily expect to be loved back to the same extent. It's an honor to be loved by anyone, but for whatever reason, with some it carries greater weight. Perhaps it can be the busyness of life that paints the setting for some of the most important "I love you's." When someone who is busy, popular, talented, etc. clears away their life for at least a few moments to meaningfully say "I love you" and to take time to care for and appreciate who you are, it's building life.

Those around me know I love them (I think). But I want to say it. I want to initiate it. I want to feel it. Perhaps I should put a ban on feigned "I love you's" in my life. I guess it would make me seem rude, so I probably won't, but perhaps it would just inspire me to mean it more.

Consider those you truly love and who truly love you. Make a point to say I love you if you feel it. Don't hold back due to social awkwardness or fear of an ingenuine response. Let your love be known, because the other person probably really needs to hear it, and maybe you just really need to say it.

Love

⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

- Romans 12:9-10

And don't forget to tell God you love Him too.

Compu-Stein

No, Compu-Stein is not a Jewish robot. It is, rather, me alluding to the new computer I'm building.

This post will be boring to probably everyone who reads my blog, but get over yourself, this blog isn't about you, it's about me. I'm important, and a documentation of my life, in all areas, is very important for posterity.

I've started working with my friend Jess at Warhola Productions every now and then as freelance. There are perks though. Such as picking up equipment they no longer are going to use at good prices. So I'm going to buy very soon from them a Matrox RT.X2, to replace my old Matrox RT.X100.

The thing is... I still like my RT.X100, and it works fine. Plus my computer could barely handle an RT.X2; so we all know what that means... time to Upgrade, HOORAY!!!

It's a fun time, but also an expensive time. I must say though, I'm going all out for this machine, and it's going to rock hard.

Processor:
Intel Core i7 940 - bought it on Craigslist from a guy who won one at a convention. It's a shame they are soon discontinuing it. Still a good processor though.

Motherboard:
Asus Rampage II Extreme - This thing is a beast. Got one on E-bay well under retail cost.

Asus Rampage II Extreme Motherboard
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Graphics Card:
Sapphire Radeon HD 4850 X2 2GB - When I saw 4 DVI outputs and an analog out, I fell in love. Steve Love Options! It's basically 2 video cards in one. And then you can link up multiple HD 4850's; TECHNOLOGY!!!

Sapphire Radeon HD 4850 X2 PCIe Video Card
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Chassis:
Thermaltake Spedo Advance Package - I came across many really sweet cases, but I don't think I can pass this one up, even though it's a little past my budget. With some big-time components in there generating lots of heat, I think this is the case to keep it all cool. Plus the cable management is complete awesomeness.

Thermaltake SPEDO Full-Tower ATX Case
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RAM:
OCZ FLEX EX DD3 - Nothing too exciting, but 6Gig is cool. And I can easily upgrade it to 12Gig in the near future if I desire. Six RAM slots on the motherboard and bought 3 2GB sticks.

Hard Drive:
Seagate 1.5 TB SATA - Bought this from Frys.com at a very good price. There is a lot of talk from people about how the drive doesn't work properly, but new firmware updates have solved all known issues, as far as I can tell. This will be used for media/video files mostly. Perhaps when prices come down I will make a RAID of 1.5TB drives. I'm also planning on transporting my a WD Raptor 10,000RPM drive from my old computer as the system drive on this new one.

Power Supply:
This is the only component I have not yet purchased. I'm having trouble gauging how much power I need since my motherboard, processor, and video card can all be power hogs if I'm doing intense work with them. But more than likely I will not max out their wattage potential. I'm probably shooting for 1000-1200Watts.
Here is my most likely candidate...
Tuniq Ripper 1000Watt PSU - It's $80 off after rebates and has a very high rating, even though I've never heard of the brand before.

If you have any suggestions or parts to offer me for my new Compu-Stein, please offer them up. Possible names for this rig are also welcome (keep them clean).

Some of you may at times think I'm a cool, interesting guy... No? Well let's pretend. After reading posts like this current one, you realize none of that is true. I am pure dork and no girl will ever want me. But it's ok because I have a TI-83. Or maybe this. Or maybe I'm black. Yeah I'm definitely black! Too far?

I'm sexy as a black man though, right? No? Ok, fine.

I doubt many of you have found your way to the gems at the end of this nerdtastic blog entry, so to those of you who endured, yours are the spoils.

Updatage

It's been a fairly eventful last few days.

Yesterday, was Kelly's wedding day. She is no long Kelly Chappell, she is Kelly O'Leary. I really want to continue to call her Kellychappell, because I'm used to it and I like it. But Dave is a good guy, and if he doesn't want me calling her that, I'll have to make an effort to stop.

The wedding was great/beautiful/joyous. It was neat that David's father married them and as he spoke of the passages read and gave words of wisdom, it was a pastor speaking to the couple being married and those attending the wedding, but it was obvious that he was also very much speaking as a father to a son and his wife. I loved watching David and Kelly, holding each other's hands and wearing their emotions all over their faces. It was cute how they would at times swing each others arms slightly in excitement of the moment. Their smiles told the whole story.

The reception brought about even more fun. David and Kelly's (DK) first dance was awesome. Everyone thought it was choreographed, but as I spoke to Kelly later, she said it wasn't at all. They are a great pair. So much energy, so much character, so much love! I know that the extent of their love and joy was and is an inspiration to everyone in attendance. It's good to be reminded that love like that exists.

It was also great seeing so many of my old friends. The old youth group crew was representin'! Jonathan, Stacie, Seth, Jesse, Anthony, Jess Baker, Kristin, and myself; all at one table! We also had Jesse's wife Kelsey, Kristin's boyfriend Jordan, and my date Marissa. There were lots of laughs and reminiscing. But there is something a little strange. I think we encountered a wedding crasher...

Soon after finding our way to the table, which was filled with all youth group people, except for 2 seats, a middle aged woman (Debbie) sits down saying she is at our table. It was strange, but we were nice. She told us she was from PA, and was best friends with David's mother. I didn't know why they would stick her at our table. I actually chatted with her for a bit. She asked if we knew who Curry was because they were at our table too. We realized Jonathan and Stacie must be at our table, but there aren't enough seats. Then she left for a moment. About a minute later Jonathan and Stacie got there and sat in the two remaining seats, moving Debbie's things. We realized none of us had seen her table marker. She came back and stated she was at a different table. The rest of the night we kept a little eye on her, and she didn't seem to talk to anyone really. She was totally crashing that wedding! She just spies where there are empty seats and takes the spot. There is so much I have to learn from her.

So Marissa was my date. A great date she was too. She met a lot of my friends, most of which she didn't know at all. Early on, at the ceremony there were some issues, but after some cough medicine and a few safety pins, all was well. We had fun dancing, taking pictures, and breeding hamsters. Ok, so there were no hamsters (a man can dream). If you read this ever, thanks again for being my date to the wedding!

I tried to make myself have fun and hold back many of my typical reservations. I think I succeeded. I know I had fun, and was maybe even more awesome than usual; if that's possible. I really want to get some copies of the pictures from Marissa, because I think they will make me smile and chuckle and perhaps fart a little.

Now I feel like more of my friends need to get married so I can keep having fun nights like this. Maybe a marriage, followed by divorce, followed by subsequent remarriage (so I can wedding it up again!). Ok, let's make it happennn... annnnnnnnnnnd... Break!

Oh yeah... Kristin requested for Brooks (who DJed) to play My Humps via texting him on my phone. After he started playing it, David yelled at him. Kristin got Brooks in trouble. He was then stripped and beaten publically so everyone would know what "we" think of My Humps.


Today was/is Mother's Day. I'm not super close to my mom, but I'm making an effort to be a better son and let her into my life somewhat (although I remain cautious). I showed up at her house this morning to go to church with her. It was nice enough, got to see some friends (I had just been at the church the previous day for Kelly's wedding). It's good to see Pastor Morgan is still teaching almost exclusively on "Joy" without telling us why we should have it, just that we ought to be joyful. :::FRUSTRATION:::

After church my mom needed to go to the mall, so I went there with her. While she shopped I bought vitamins from Vitamin World. Then I walked around and sat around and played Tetris on my phone. Then I went home to eat and take a nap before going on a bike ride with my mom. We rode 14 miles, which is a good bit for a guy who is kind of out of shape. My mom is crazier with riding than you'd think. We finished the fourteen miles in a little over an hour of biking. I had to prove myself by keeping up. I think maybe I could outbike her... maybe. We stopped at Station Square to get a quick bite, since we were riding right by it. Then after biking, I came back home with her and cut the grass. Exciting yes. My mom really enjoyed the day though, so that's good.

Hopefully this wasn't too boring, but it's what the DA was originally designed for... telling of the excitement and drabness of my day to day.

Lotionin' Oilin', Oilin' Lotionin'

Yeah, this clip has almost nothing to do with this post, yet at the same time has everything to do with everything... It's a magic moment.

What I really wanted to say is that my uncle was on the news. Check it out.

Now you all can be beautiful and protect yourselves from the nasty sun. As for myself, I will be wearing this as protection.

Does His Power Come From God?

Pat Robertson's Leg Press | Viral | SPIKE.com

I'm not a big fan of Pat Robertson at all. But check this out!

I really don't know what to say about this old man with quads of steel.

So maybe he's cheating a little...

All I know is, this is certainly a humble man ;)

Sudden Push

I guess I've reached the point in my life where all signs and all fingers start leading you down the aisle.

It's funny how suddenly that push takes place, or at least has for me. A year ago, there was no indication that marriage should be within my scope. I wasn't, and still am not completely, sure that it's part of my lot in life. I lean toward believing I will find the right girl, fall in love, get married, have 2.3 kids (does .3 represent some weird conjoined twin thing, or an extra arm and liver?). But honestly I don't know. It certainly seems nice, but I'm so "out there" in my values, convictions, and desires that I'm not sure any girl will fit into my bizarre (by our current social structure) lifestyle and beliefs.

I've only been to the wedding of one friend in the last several years. My buddy Brooks got married, and I was a groomsman. I don't count Brooks though, because he's four or five years older than me. Things are changing though (and already have). My good friend Jesse just got married on Saturday. My good friend Kelly is getting married this coming Saturday. And surely within the next 1-2 years a few more of my "my age" friends will be married.

I can't comprehend. I mean, good for them, but at this time and position in my life, I cannot fathom saying "this is the woman I will spend the rest of my life with." As much as I'd like to be able to feel that and as much as I search for that, I just can't currently. I am still perplexed by the phenomenon that is marriage. I don't know how one cannot believe in a God, and believe solely in Darwinistic happenings as the cause of everything we do and are. The decision for two people to devote the rest of their lives to one another would be ridiculous if it weren't so beautiful. And when it happens, that's a picture that is truly miraculous. Day after day, year after year, love proving itself again and again. Amazing... but heavy!



What a decision. They say you "just know" when you meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. You better know, because that's a big lifestyle change. Especially with the promise of children, which my mom has been getting on me about lately. Just today I got a text saying how her friend was going to be a grandmother. This past summer I accompanied my mom to this very friend's son's wedding.

Marriage is one thing, procreating is another. I've always been more capable of seeing myself as a husband than a father. Maybe both are difficult to envision because of divorce rate in my family. Yet, I crave the companionship of a wife, but also fear the distraction that could come with it. As for children, I just can't often picture myself as a father. But there are moments...

There are moments when an image before me transports me through time to what I could be. I place myself in the shoes of the one I'm watching, and I can picture myself as a husband or a father. I can feel the love that I'll have, and the fulfillment of it. After the moment fades, I'm still a little skeptical and even fearful, but also hopeful, and usually wearing a smile.

I don't know why I worry so much. I am responsible, caring, and capable. There are those who are excellent husbands and fathers, who have needed to grow into the role greatly, and been successful in it. But I always want to do everything well... exceedingly well. And the undertaking of a family would be big.

Am I ready. I think not. I am under-disciplined, underpaid, and under-established; overly distracted, overly critical, and overly self-indulged. But if/when it happens I will ready myself. After all, I am a fierce, brave, daring man. I am not a nice guy. I am a warrior! A warrior that one day may walk down an aisle in a tuxedo... but not yet.