Binge & Purge

Nutritionists will tell you not to take on the habitual binge/purge rhythm to your eating.  But you just can't resist the allure of chocolate.  One potato chip leads to one bag of potato chips.  And your daily burger just becomes part of your routine... even though you KNOW your shouldn't.  

So we call 1-800-09-JENNY.  And we go on slimfast.  And we join the gym.  And we go on some crazy diet where you can only eat meat and cheese or do something crazy with an enima.  And we do these things... for a week or two (or until we can no longer either sit on or stop sitting on a toilet).  We cut down our portions or take a magic pill until we've lost 5-10-4,000 lbs (depending on your situation).  Once we feel normal, healthy, and confident again we open ourselves up to the temptation.  And thus we become Oprah or Luther Vandross.  Lose, gain, lose, gain, lose gain... die.

Modern day science, and the rampant spread of disease and death makes it clear that binge/purge is not the way we should live.  But my point is not really about weight or diet.

I'm coming off of a few day purge (or binge, depending on how you look at it).  Sitting in my high-back swivel chair, going through hours and hours of football footage to make a montage video.  Over the last few days I have spent probably close to 50 hours working on this video.  Edit, sleep for 5 hours, wake up, edit, shoot some supplemental video, edit, eat a cracker and a bag of m&m's, edit, sleep.  It's not healthy to be working 18 hours a day, even if it is for just a few days or a week.

The point is that I have bad living habits that are comparable to bad eating habits.  I binge on life and relaxation to a point where it isn't good for me.  And then I have to purge and work super hard to catch up, which also isn't good for me.  If I could buckle down and find some structure in my life I could be in a much better place.  Like eating, I wouldn't feel forced to purge hardcore if I hadn't been bingeing so much!

I've gotten some good, stern advice, that I should schedule everything in my day.  Oh my.  For me that seems like a lot, seeing as how I schedule very little except for work events or meetings (and that's only because of iCal).  But I'm going to start trying to schedule most of my day; despite the fact that I'm sure the unforeseen variables will blow holes in it on a regular basis.

My binge might be other people's purge.  Some people are so structured and such work-aholics that to be away from the office any day of the week feels like a purge to them.  Obviously this isn't ideal either, and can be harmful to a person's life, identity, health, etc.

Maybe this is a good thing for all of us to reflect on occasionally, or regularly.  Am I being a good steward of my time?  Is my life balanced, does it reflect harmony?  Does the way I live my life leave room for all my priorities (God, others, myself, work... hopefully in an order close to that)?

A balanced life is such an enticing goal.  That's why I can't understand the reasons I fight it so.

I am the most interesting of creatures, in that I defy logic at every opportunity.  But at least I dwell upon my absurdities... and then blog about them.

PITTSBURGH'S GOing To the superb... eh, whatever

Pittsburgh is known for two things: a revolutionary sandwich that has french fries and coleslaw on it, and Steelers fans. That's it. Those two things. Without those, The United States might send the Burgh to Afghanistan or Moscow.

I'm a Pittsburgher born and raised; but some things make me feel like an outsider. I don't speak Pittsburghese (much), I still have trouble navigating my way around the city, and I'm not a big sports fan n'at. I'm not sure but all of these points might also contribute to me not being a real Man, also... plus I don't eat meat... not a big Pittsburgher or manly thing.

I seriously think that my fellow Burghers believe the sabbath was invented as a day devoted to football. It's practiced all year long, only out of reverence for the coming football season. Does anyone ever think objectively about our nations, and especially our city's, obsession with sports? I watch the Steelers, and I yell at the TV occasionally, but I still hate myself a little when I watch sports on TV. What's the point of it all?

Let's stand together brothas and sistas. Let's break the cords of bondage that hold us bound to this pig skinned demon. A Yeahhhsssaa. Come on now my friends, come on and stand firm. Turn off your TV and look around yourselves and find out what really matters. We're gonna exercise some NF eL Diablo!

That was me as a souther gospel preacher type, which is weird, because Pittsburgh is in the North. Oh, and I'm not a souther gospel preacher... yet.

Let's come up with alternatives to watching football on Sundays.

1. Make it a family craft to paint your TV screen with finger paint and glitter.
2. Try going vegan for a day. This requires GREAT focus, so football will not even be possible for you, with the amount of energy this will take to maintain for a whole day.
3. Spend hours trying to move household objects with your mind.
4. Get married (unless you're gay).
5. Start an AOL Instant Messenger Group Chat
6. Learn an extinct foreign dialect, and insist on using it as much as possible.
7. Write a script for a full-length Captain Planet movie, starring Johnny Depp
8. Start another family
9. Eat fifty hard boiled eggs
10. Make all decisions for the day based on flipping a coin.

I had better get to bed. I have church, and then I'm getting ready to watch the game.

Because You Care

I'm writing a blog today, despite all the work I have to do and my fast-approaching deadline, because I know you care. Ok, that's a lie. I have no idea if you care... and if I'm going to make a guess about things based on analytical means, I would say there's a better chance that you don't care. I'm not being a downer, but come on, let's be real.

I have a video due early this coming week. I am not at the point of entering "freak out" mode where I pound my head with the questions "WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG?!?!?" But if I don't pick up my pace, I will be in some trouble.

I was talking to my friend Kelly about the niceties and difficulties of having almost no set work schedule. It's very nice to do stuff on your own time and to help people who need a ride or help in the middle of the day, when everyone else is at their 9-5 job. But when you don't have a set work schedule, I think there is a much higher tendency to put in more hours than the typical person (especially if you care about your work like I do). I wish I had the structure and willpower to designate specific times during the week to do work. As it is, I wait until the last possible minute to get my work done.

So now I feel like a video editing recluse in my house. I need more visitors. For that, maybe I need more friends. I think I'm a pretty good friend. At the very least, people should want to be my friend for the superficial reasons of: I will cook them fine cuisine, I have an enormous DVD collection that we can choose from, and I just bought a blender at an estate sale today, soooo... SMOOTHIES!

Maybe I don't have friend because everyone has read my blog and realized I'm boring. This is boring. I should start writing more interesting blogs. I used to be good at this. Something inside me is dying; I can only hope it's my intestinal parasite, but fear it is my fun, spontaneous side. Let's try start a newish year resolution of entertaining/thought provoking blogs.

A Good Day

Today was really quite a good day all around.

I woke up and went to church with my cousin Tierney.  The service was good, I felt connected with the sermon, and looking out at the church I saw the church truly being the church.  We all laid hands on and prayed for Scott for several minutes, who is having a return of some cancer lumps.  I watched some members of the church go around to one another with love and sometimes tears in their eyes to give a loving and encouraging word (without any coaxing by the pastor either).  And I saw one of the women lovingly compliment my cousin on the beauty that radiates from her and then anoint her with oil.  It was encouraging.

Then right after church, the pastor's grandson, one of the former Campus Life kids I worked with, took a look at my car.  He's a mechanic now, and he's going to give me a good price on fixing up some problems with my car so I can pass inspection!  It's times like that where it's especially good to have friends.

It was a good day.

I came home and did some preparation for a dish I was cooking for later that night.  After some prep work I gathered the rest of my ingredients etc. and headed to Kristin's for our youth group crew reunion.

Kristin was in a bad mood when I got there, and very pessimistic believing no one would show up.  But we hung out and I started cooking some more there.  Jeana and Dave showed up shortly after.  Jeana told Kristin she was pregnant, and Kristin didn't believe her insisting that she was really just getting fat.  Kristin displayed her tummy exclaiming that she also could be with child.  I think it wasn't until Kristin actually felt the difference in poking a belly with a baby and one without, that she believed.  And that began the talk of the night.  Jeana and her pregnancy/baby.  Kristin's duty in life was now to be the deliverer... not of the baby... but of the news of the baby.  Everyone that walked through the door, Anthony, Kelly, Dave, Jesse, Kelsey, Emma, Jonathan, Stacie, and even Jeana's brother Ben, were immediately informed of the baby, regardless of whether or not they already knew.

So that was fun.

It was great sitting around joking and catching up.  Jonathan and Stacie's son Joshua is two years old today, and he granted us some entertainment by playing close-range football.  I finished up my dish (stuffed zucchini) and chatted with Kristin's roommate some more in the kitchen.  She was really nice and for whatever reason I felt pretty confident about myself.  We actually had decent conversation for it being pretty brief.  There wasn't any flirting or anything (so don't go there Kristin), but it was part of the ongoing theme of the day where I felt comfortable and confident in myself.

It was a good day.

The group began to split.  Some were going to eat, and others were just going.  I was just going, since I had a Christmas/New Years party with Youth For Christ to go to.  I stopped home to throw my food in the oven a bit longer and pick up the gift for the gift exchange, which I forgot earlier.  Then I headed to the coffee shop for the party.  I just kind of hung somewhat by myself for a bit at first, as there weren't too many there who I was close with.  As some of the friends I knew better showed up, I gravitated toward them.

There is some real love in the people of YFC.  I love the relationships I'm forming there.  I felt cool just being myself.  I never felt like anyone was judging me, and I wasn't judging them.  We ate, we talked, we exchanged gifts.  I bought those dryer balls, to use instead of dryer sheets.  My one co-worker Dave and his wife got that, and insisted on knowing who gave that gift.  They liked it and also joked about it, so it was sweet.  I got these picture ornaments that smell like a Catholic church... all incense-like.  We joked about what a weird gift it was, from the girl that brought the gift.  Her grandmother gave it to her for her birthday, and she regifted since it's so ridiculous.  We had fun.  I felt natural and interesting and confident and just... on.

It was a good day.

Love makes a big difference.  So often I'm in situations that reek more of criticism or judgement than of love and compassion.  I am thrilled when I am surrounded by those who are so focused on the good time set before them, that they are way too busy to be petty.  I think that's something very Christian.  If we are really excited and devoted to this life we are being granted, we will be so excited to live it out and to love it out that the petty stuff won't even be noticed.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a utopia.  Hugs and encouraging words flow plentifully.  Other times I feel like I'm in hell, where I don't rate and I can't compare to anyone.  It's so much nicer when nobody is even comparing anyway.

Today I felt like a person and not a clump of attributes.  I felt attractive all around.  I didn't worry about things I normally worry about.  I'm not sure I even heard a negative word directed toward me.  It's good to be loved.

It was a good day.

Help make tomorrow a good day for yourself and for those around you.