Pittsburgh is known for two things: a revolutionary sandwich that has french fries and coleslaw on it, and Steelers fans. That's it. Those two things. Without those, The United States might send the Burgh to Afghanistan or Moscow.
I'm a Pittsburgher born and raised; but some things make me feel like an outsider. I don't speak Pittsburghese (much), I still have trouble navigating my way around the city, and I'm not a big sports fan n'at. I'm not sure but all of these points might also contribute to me not being a real Man, also... plus I don't eat meat... not a big Pittsburgher or manly thing.
I seriously think that my fellow Burghers believe the sabbath was invented as a day devoted to football. It's practiced all year long, only out of reverence for the coming football season. Does anyone ever think objectively about our nations, and especially our city's, obsession with sports? I watch the Steelers, and I yell at the TV occasionally, but I still hate myself a little when I watch sports on TV. What's the point of it all?
Let's stand together brothas and sistas. Let's break the cords of bondage that hold us bound to this pig skinned demon. A Yeahhhsssaa. Come on now my friends, come on and stand firm. Turn off your TV and look around yourselves and find out what really matters. We're gonna exercise some NF eL Diablo!
That was me as a souther gospel preacher type, which is weird, because Pittsburgh is in the North. Oh, and I'm not a souther gospel preacher... yet.
Let's come up with alternatives to watching football on Sundays.
- Make it a family craft to paint your TV screen with finger paint and glitter.
- Try going vegan for a day. This requires GREAT focus, so football will not even be possible for you, with the amount of energy this will take to maintain for a whole day.
- Spend hours trying to move household objects with your mind.
- Get married (unless you're gay).
- Start an AOL Instant Messenger Group Chat
- Learn an extinct foreign dialect, and insist on using it as much as possible.
- Write a script for a full-length Captain Planet movie, starring Johnny Depp
- Start another family
- Eat fifty hard boiled eggs
- Make all decisions for the day based on flipping a coin.
1 comment:
1st off no one can eat 50 hard boiled eggs. 2nd football is less than 1/2 of the year and if all you watch is the Steelers (which is fine cause there are only really 3 teams in the world, the Steelers, they losers and the teams that they are about to beat) 3rd I rebuked you Satan and your Vegan-ism. you know if you replace the 1st 3 letters of vegan with sat (which is all you can do when you dont eat meat, cause meat = blood which = life = energy) you get the devil....So Steve I love you like a sister (if you ate meat and watched more football it would be like a brother) but on this one you my friend are wrong....love you man, keep up the blogging it breaks the funk of my day.
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