Splitting Hairs

I'm getting somewhat annoyed and frustrated this holiday season.

My mother asked me to cut my hair for her Christmas present. I know that she asks for this in a way that is wanting what is best for me, but I also know she doesn't spend hours pondering the pros and cons of manufacturing your appearance. Regardless, I figured at this point it would be a better move to cut it for the sake of her feeling good, than for her to resent and nag me the entire holiday season.

After cutting my hair there is an influx of compliments. "Looking hott," "You look so much better now," "Finally!" "You looked like a little boy with long hair, now you look like a man," "You truly do look great with that haircut." I even felt like my roommate was hitting on me, and wished I had a lock on my door that night. Compliments are supposed to make you feel good about yourself, but these "compliments" are making me feel lousy. It's so discouraging when I want to have a positive impact on people in the ways that matter, yet everyone is so hung up on my appearance. It makes me feel like they're trying to induct me into The Beautiful People's Club.

Especially in context of properly teaching teenagers, I've thought about the implications of compliments on physical attributes. They surely can encourage self-esteem. They can also encourage self-absorbtion, disorders focused on maintaining "beauty" at any cost, and imbalanced self-worth. And of couse, gazing down the road, looks don't usually last a lifetime. When a person builds their self-worth upon something as flimsy as appearance, what do they do when it all comes crashing down; either at once by some sort of accident, or gradually with age.

The public is never satisfied either. Now that my hair is cut, they focus on the next issue at hand. "When are you going to cut that thing off?!? (in reference to my beardish thing)" Once I cut that off, they'll probably want me to start going for some sort of skin treatments at my uncle's Skin Center. And as I continue to do what they want, they will compliment me and encourage me to commit further and further to their Beautiful People's Club. But I'll never be free from ridicule. I believe that those who care about such things, and give you a discouraging encouragement (e.g. you weren't good enough before, but now that you're more like us you're better) are the same people who talk behind your back, or silently dwell on what they find superficially negative about you.

I don't want to be like that, yet I'm surrounded by it. I want to save others from this disease of being o verly critical of things that don't matter whatsoever (amazingly these same people tend to not be the ones who emerse themself deep in thought on the most important issues, but adopt shallow, common views). If not for their own sake, for mine. I'm more superficial than I'd like to be, and I know that it is caused and perpetuated by this rooted issue.

I'm not opposed to looking good, or looking how you want. I'm not opposed to being attractive. But why do I need to be physically appealing to my mother? My friends? Strangers? Shouldn't I focus on being attractive to them in personality, deeds, and love? Except for that "special someone" I don't think physical attractiveness should play the role it currently does in society. And even that special someone should be far more attracted to the person than the look, because, once again, it could go away at any time. Then where would you be?

Fasting

16"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Treasures in Heaven

19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

- Matthew 6:16-21

Don't go out and make yourself look horrible because of this. But a smile and a great attitude would be a better disguise than hair gel and makeup. This is most certainly a fast... a fast from physical obsession. But if you can gain joy and peace and an attitude to go out and love who God has made you to be, how will it look like a fast to everyone else? They're going to want what you've got. Don't be convicted out of guilt, be convicted with a heart that desires life.

Go after the things that don't rust and wither. Value and pursue things that matter, for where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.

And regardless of whether you want to give an ear to living the way I suggest, at least consider how you compliment someone. Does it enliven the real or does it boost the superficial? Is this an uplifting encouragement or is it a discouraging encouragement?

Alright, I'm off to go play Pretty Pretty Princess.