Showing posts with label wildlife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wildlife. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ode To A Non-Friend



There is an unwelcome intruder on my ceiling
He is constantly wandering as he pleases
The sight of him gives me an uneasy feeling
Knowing full well he's bearing diseases

He has a strange fascination with my light
I think it's the reason that he's staying
I'd turn it off if it darkness wasn't my fright
Cause momma would stick me in a box for disobeying

Do I dare close my eyes and find some peace?
His motives for being here are still in question
And what if his exploration doesn't cease
His ultimate fate could come through my digestion

Crawling down my mouth and into my belly
Will he break apart like a time-release drug?
As my stomach acid liquefies him into a jelly
I'd dread my burps cause he is a stink bug

Why are you here, oh bug of the air?
When you know I could crunch you with hardly a thought
I pierce your soul with a penetrating glare
I'm jealous of you and the talent you've got

You're slow enough, you'd be easy to catch
I could killed you now with a sharp little dart
Even then you would still win the match
Because striking you dead would release your inner fart

You remain peaceful toward me while I make threats
Perhaps you have come to be my protector
Guarding me from my rival enemy, The Jets
Just promise me you won't be a defector

Certainly you are a sacred gift from the Lord
Saving me magically from any known issue
Ehh, screw it I'm bored
I'm just gonna squish you


Sorry that wasn't better. My standards are dwindling.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A Good Start

Today has been an adventure. Any one element of the trifecta of life presented to me today would be DA worthy, but all three combined will make your head rattle, or at least mildly entertain you for the next few minutes.

I woke up this morning and started about my business of watching old episodes of The Office and packing up my room for the big move. I leave my window open often times to try to cool of my attic room, and being in a city area, you hear a little commotion from time to time. There were some yells from outside, which I dismissed as nothing. Then they persisted and sounded like someone yelling for their life. I ran to the window and looked down to see three African American guys, one beating up the other pretty bad, and the third just kind of there.

At first glance I wondered if they were just messing around, but as I realized the severity of what was going on I though, "Holy Crap! What do I do, what do I do? Should I call 911?" I knew there was a fire station about 20 feet from the fight, and thought surely the firemen must hear this and will be right out, but I didn't know if I should call anyway. I stalled there for about 10 seconds until some firemen came out, just as I predicted.

Apparently the one dude getting beat up, threw a brick through the car window of the dude beating him up. The one who threw the brick was trying to rob it I guess. Cops came a little while later. It was just weird because it was directly across the street from my house. The same place there was a shooting about a month back.

I continued with my day and my packing. I loaded up boxes with books as I cleared out my bookshelves and carried them downstairs. The second bookshelf must have got me too excited or something because on my way down the stairs I missed the very last step and CRUNCH!

My ankle, no no, not my ankle! I kept thinking in my head "this is very bad, this is very bad." The crunch was loud and there was a slightly delayed pain, although I writhed in it before I even felt it. Everything I had to do this week and next flashed through my head, leaving me to question how I could do it on crutches. It ended up not being quite so bad as I thought. It hurt, but I could put weight on it... and I could walk so so. I'm still nursing it, but I'm hoping it'll be pretty decent in another day or two.

After some icing and elevation of my ankle I went over to Hillside to help Jamie with some stuff. He had been going through the shed getting supplies for The Big Wow ready. We were doing our thing going between the gym and the shed. Suddenly I looked over and shouted "Whoa, dude, look." Jamie looks over to see the four foot snake I was pointing at in the corner. So Jamie reluctantly decides we should try to get it out, although we're both a little scared and I'm pretty gimp with my ankle. We seize it with garbage cans and hockey sticks... but not really seize, instead we kind of poke and nudge. The snake gets pretty aggravated and curls up into striking position, which it does strike the hockey stick a few times. After doing a poor job of doing anything other than creating an angry snake, we go sit down in hopes that he'll leave out the door. He does indeed slither toward the door slowly but surely, but then camps out under the basketball hoop.

Jeremy stops by the church with some other guys, they all come in to see the snake. Jeremy is terrified like a little girl or something. With some teamwork the snake is pushed out from under the hoop, and coaxed outside, where they proceed to torment him, until he finally goes over the hill. I have a picture of the snake, but I'm still trying to get it from my phone to my computer, so I'll post it later.

Some of you may be thinking, "What I let down, I was expecting something much more exciting than that." Well this is my life, if an exciting day is so boring to you, why don't you stop reading my blog and go live your extravagant life.